THE BALLAD OF OJ SIMPSON tune: "The Ballad of Lizzie Borden" (Chad Mitchell Trio, 1961) Yesterday out in Los Angeles, Nicole and Ronald died. And they busted OJ Simpson on a charge of homicide. Well, he might not have done it but the media think he did, And Michael Jackson's volunteered to take care of the kids. 'Cause you can't cut your exes up in California, Contrary to all popular belief. No, you can't cut your exes up in California, You know it's gonna cause a lot of grief. Well, he might have used a razor 'cause the airline lost his gun, But he didn't use a hatchet 'cause THAT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE! Now poor OJ's in the jailhouse, and they're looking for the knife. For just ten million dollars, he might get off with life. 'Cause you can't cut your exes up in California, And then blame all the damage on the heat. No, you can't cut your exes up in California, With evidence upon the Bronco seat. You can sell a ton of crack and the cops will turn their back. You can rape and burn and loot; they don't want another suit. You can peddle phony stock like they do in Little Rock, But you can't turn your ex into a Pez(tm) dispenser. California is a far cry from DC. No, you can't cut your exes up in California, And then go out and drive around the town. No, you can't cut your exes up in California, It's almost sure to make the jury frown. (knuckles on guitar body): KNOCK KNOCK! :-] --