                   The definitive guide to Arcade Terrorism
                  -========================================-

  Being bad isn`t difficult. Being good at being bad is a different thing.
Video games arcades are peculiar places. Full of people with nowhere better
to go and idiots wearing big, stupid puffy ski jackets and shoes without the
laces done up.
  These idiots go to arcades to play on the games, and being idiots, are very
easy to irritate. This is the definitive guide to being bad inthe arcades...

  Terror Scheme 1
 -===============-

  Noises are amazing. Without noises we wouldn`t be able to hear The Three
Tenors or listen to Whalesong. Noises can be also used for nefarious
purposes. That puffy-jacketed git sat in front of Sega Rally; he`s paid a
pound for his go and you can ruin his fun by making a donkey sound right in 
his stupid ear. 
  Standing behind him and whistling a Colonel Bogey/Oklahoma medly is equally 
annoying. Or you could just gurgle like a baby.

  Terror Scheme 2
 -===============-

  No arcade terrorist should be without a pack of deflated ballons, they`re
excellent! A handful should be enough for a mountain of arcade-centric fun.
  Walk behind someone playing on a full sit-down Ridge Racer, then let off a
half-inflated balloon so that it `razzes' around his stupid legs. He'll 
probably think that its a goose.
  Also draw a pair of ugly faces on two balloons and show them to a group of 
similar looking `puff-jacks'. Tell them its their parents come to visit!

  Terror Scheme 3
 -===============-

  If you wear contact lenses you already know the fun that can be had with a
spray bottle of saline. That salty water shoots up to thirty feet!
  Why not spray some at the back of the `jackety-puffer' playing on Virtual
Cop II? When he turns around, just walk nonchatantly away. He can only sue.
  Alternatively, stare at him with your teeth bared and your hands above
your head as if ready to pounce. If he's particularly dumb-witted then he'll
most likely mistake you for a cobra.

  Terror Scheme 4
 -===============-

  Twenty or so rulers sellotaped together is a gateway to fun times. Just
imagine: you see a fully puffed-up jacket-wearer playing on a fruity.
  Stand a few feet away and gently tickle his neck with your elongated
ruler/tape contraption. At first he'll think its an itch, but he'll soon get
the real picture when you slap his stupid scratching fingers.
  These `giant-ruli' are also good as pole vaults for people weighing no more
than two or three ounces.


  DISCLAIMER
  ==========

 The opinions and antics described here were not thought up by the uploader,
(Hippy@heyes.demon.co.uk). 
 Also, you are ill-advised to carry these actions out as it may result in 
lots of violence pointed in your direction. You may also catch a cold.

** Add your antics to the bottom and send to: **
** Hippy@heyes.demon.co.uk                    **

