
            The O.J. Trial, as told by The Cat in the Hat 
            ---------------------------------------------
 
                I did not kill my lovely wife. 
                I did not slash her with a knife.
                I did not bonk her in the head. 
                I did not know that she was dead. 
 
                I stayed at home that fateful night. 
                I took a cab, then took a flight. 
                The bag I had was just for me. 
                My bag! My bag! Leave it be! 
 
                When I came home I had a gash. 
                My hand was gashed from broken glass. 
                I cut my hand upon a glass. 
                A broken glass did cause that gash. 
 
                My friend, he took me for a ride. 
                All through L.A., from side to side. 
                From North to South, we took a ride. 
                But from the cops, I could not hide. 
 
                And now we've been here for a year. 
                A year! A year! Just sitting here! 
                The DNA, the hem and haw. 
                The circus-hype the viewers saw. 
                A year! A year! Just sitting here! 
                And lawyers charge by the hour, I fear. 
 
                If I'm found "Guilty," I'll appeal. 
                Appeal!  Appeal!  I will appeal! 
                I'll wheedle and whine; I'll cut a deal! 
                If it's "Not Guilty," so glad I'll feel. 
 
And... 
  
                DID YOU DO THIS AWFUL CRIME? 
                DID YOU DO IT ANYTIME? 
      
                I did not do this awful crime. 
                I could not, would not, anytime. 
      
                DID YOU TAKE THIS PERSON'S LIFE? 
                DID YOU DO IT WITH A KNIFE? 
      
                I did not do it with a knife. 
                I did not, could not, kill my wife. 
                I did not do this awful crime 
                I could not, would not, anytime. 
      
                DID YOU LEAVE A POOL OF BLOOD? 
                DID YOU DROP THIS BLOODY GLOVE? 
      
                I did not leave a pool of blood. 
                I can not even wear that glove. 
                I did not do it with a knife. 
                I did not, could not, kill my wife. 
                I did not do this awful crime 
                I could not, would not, anytime. 


SHAPIRO

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