
                        PROPER USE OF PC FLOPPY DISKETTES
         (From the MicroSoft Public Relations Office (allegedly) )

                              By Mr B. Gates

1.   Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the
disk  and  corrode the inner mechanics of the drive.  Diskettes should be
rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

2.  Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week.  Microscopic metal
particles  can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of
the  disk.   Any  stubborn matallic shavings can be removed with scouring
powder  and  soap.   When  waxing  the diskette, make sure the surface is
even.   This  will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better
access time.

3.   Do  not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive.  "BIG"
diskettes may be folded and used in "little" disk drives.

4.   Never  insert  a  diskette into the drive upside down.  The data can
fall  off  the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the
drive.

5.   Diskettes  cannot  be  backed  up  by running them through the xerox
machine.   If  your  data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert
two  diskettes  into the drive.  Whenever you update a document, the data
will be written on both diskettes.

6.   Diskettes should not be inserted or removed from the drive while the
red  light  is  flashing.   Doing  so could result in smeared or possibly
unreadable  text.  Occasionally the red light remains flashing in what is
known  as  a  "hung"  or "hooked" state.  If your system is "hooking" you
will  probably  need to insert a few coins before being allowed access to
the slot.

7.   If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the
disk  from  the drive and shake vigorously for 2 minutes.  This will pack
the  data enough(Data Compression) to allow for more storage.  Be sure to
cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss data.

8.  Data access time can be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the
diskette jacket.  This will provide more simultaneous access point to the
disk.

9.  Diskettes may be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided that
they  are  properly  waxed beforehand.  Be sure to wipe the diskettes dry
before using.

10.   Never  use scissors and glue to manual edit documents.  The data is
stored  much  too  small  for the naked eye, and you may end up with data
from  some  other  document  stuck in the middle of your document.  Razor
blades  and  scotch  tape  may  be  used,  however,  provided the user is
equipped with an electron microscope.

11.  Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs
from spreading.

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