He's so cheap: After shaking your hand he counts his fingers.
He's so cheap: Before counting his money he gets drunk so he'll see double.
He's so cheap: Even his 8 by 10 photos are only 7 by 9.
He's so cheap: Even if he were in a canoe he wouldn't tip.
He's so cheap: For supper he sits on the porch and bites his lips.
He's so cheap: He always licks his eyeglasses after eating grapefruit.
He's so cheap: He always washes his paper plates.
He's so cheap: He bought his daughter a doll house with a mortgage on it.
He's so cheap: He even stops his watch to save time.
He's so cheap: He gave his wife a 1 month subscription to Reader's Digest.
He's so cheap: He gave his wife a one-month subscription to Reader's Digest.
He's so cheap: He heats his knives so he won't use too much butter.
He's so cheap: He is tighter than the top olive in the bottle.
He's so cheap: He keeps a moth as a pet because it only eats holes.
He's so cheap: He married a skinny girl so he could buy a small wedding ring.
He's so cheap: He opened his wallet once and three months flew out.
He's so cheap: He puts glue in his mustache so his kisses will last longer.
He's so cheap: He quit golf when he lost his ball.
He's so cheap: He takes his electric razor to the office to recharge it.
He's so cheap: He took out fire insurance on his cigars.
He's so cheap: He uses the same calendar year after year.
He's so cheap: He walks his date to a drive-in movie.
He's so cheap: He won't even give his wife an argument.
He's so cheap: He won't even let you borrow trouble.
He's so cheap: He won't even tip his hat.
He's so cheap: He would come over and borrow a flag on July 4th.
He's so cheap: He would never even pass the buck.
He's so cheap: The only thing he ever saved for a rainy day was his vacation.
He's so cheap: The only thing he ever threw out was the bill collector.
He's so cheap: The only thing he every gave away was a secret.
He's so cheap: When he pays you a compliment he asks for a receipt.
