"(WHACK!) That was a bookcase--do you feel better?"  --Pirate Jenny
"3 Million years!  I've still got that library book!" * Lister
"A Bestiary of Plant Eaters" - by Herb Avore.
"A Long Walk" - by Miss DeBus
"A Trip to the Outhouse - by Willie Makeit
"Acrophobia Explained" - by Alfredo Heights
"Advertisments" - by Bill Board
"All About Kissing" - by Miss L. Toe
"All Alone" - by Saul E. Terry
"Allegiance To The King" - by Neil Downe
"Animal Scents" - by Farrah Mones
"Antlers in the Treetops" - by Hugh Goos deMoos
"Archery Made Simple" - by Beau N. Arrow
"Artificial People" - by Frank N. Stein
"Artificial Weightlessness" - by Andy Gravity
"Bad Cow Jokes" - by Terry Bull
"Bad Money" - by Count R. Fitz
"Baker's Man" - by Patty Cake
"Battle Axes" - by Tom A. Hawk
"Birds" - by C. Gull
"Books will speak plain when counsellors blanch." -- Bacon
"Brown Spots on the Wall" - by Who Flung Doo
"Burglary" - by Jimmy Delox
"Care For A Chop?" - by Marsha Larts.
"Cats" - by Ann Gora
"Cloning" - by Ima Dubble
"Cosmetology" - by Rosie Cheeks
"Crime Does Not Pay" - by Laura Norder
"Crowd Control" - by General Panic
"Day in the Life of a Dentist" - by Phil McAvity
"Dealing With Mistakes" - by E. Ray Sur
"Deep Secrets" - by Kent Tellem
"Desert Crossing" - by I. Rhoda Camel
"Did you read it in one of your books?" -- Harley Stone
"Discipline in the Home" - by Wilma Child Begood
"Don't judge a book by its cover!" -- Frank N. Furter
"Don't Tread On Me" - by Amanda B. Reckonwith
"Don't Wake The Baby" - by Elsie Cries
"East Coast Resorts" - by Nan Tuckett.
"Eat any good books lately?" Q
"Ecclesiastical Infractions" - by Cardinal Sin
"Errors and Accidents - by Miss Takes and Miss Haps
"Everything Explained" - by Kitt N. Caboodle
"Explosives Made Easy - VOL II" - by Click N. Boom
"Explosives Made Easy" - by Stan Wellback
"Fade Away" - by Peter Out
"Falling off a Cliff" - by Eileen Dover
"Fill in the Box" - by Mark Detest
"Fly By Night Gift Distribution" - by S. Claus
"Foot Coverings" - by Sue Sansox.
"French Cousine" - by Sue Flay
"Fun Times in the Sleeping Bag" - by Nap Sack
"Guide To Mixology" - by Bart Ender
"Halloween Activities" - by Bob N. Forapples
"Handel's Messiah" - by Ollie Luyah
"Head of Security" - by Barb Dwyer
"Hit Below the Belt" - by Lord Howitt Hertz
"Home, Sweet Home" - by A. Bachelor
"How I Won The Marathon" - by Randy Hoelway
"How Radio Works" - by Anne Tenna
"How to Annoy" - by Aunt Agonize
"How to be a Lumberjack" - by Tim Burr
"How To Fix A TV Set" - by Yul B. Sorry.
"How to Get Rich Quick" - by Robin Banks, Jack Potts, & Kermit Grimes
"How to keep your conference on topic" - by Mod R. Ator
"How to Lose Weight" - by X. R. Sizemore
"How to Relieve pain" - by Ann L. Gesick
"How to Tell the Future" - by Chris Taball
"How To Tune Up Your Auto" - by Carl Humm.
"How to Write a Will" - by Ben E. Factor
"How to Write Letters" - by Adiline Moore
"How We Got to Bethlehem" - by Don Keys
"I am Hopelessly Lost" - by Wareham I. Now
"I Didn't Do It" - by Ivan Alibi
"I Hate Housework" - by I. M. Laizee
"I Hate the Sun" - by Gladys Knight
"I Like Fish" - by Ann Chovie
"I Like Liquor" - by Ethyl Alcohol
"I Love Mathematics" - by Adam Up
"I Say So!" - by Frank O'Pinion
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose." s.w.
"I'm Someone Else" - by Ima Nonymous
"I'm Tired" - by Anita Rest
"I'm writing a book.  I've got the page numbers done." s.w.
"I'm writing and unauthorized auto-biography." s.w.
"In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." * Calvin
"Inflammation" - by Arthur Itis
"Irish Dentistry" - by Perry O'Dontal
"It Won't Work!" - by Mel Function
"It's All In Your Head" - by Madge Ination
"It's Commander Book."  "He's read, Jim."
"IT'S IN THE BOOK!"
"Kidnapped" - by Caesar Quick
"Late Again" - by Misty Buss
"Lawrence Welk in China" - by Anna Wong, Anna Tieu
"Leo Tolstoy" - by Warren Peace.
"Little Fishes" - by Anne Chovey
"Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen" - by Minnie Sota
"Medically Soothing Beverages" - by Dr. Pepper
"Miss Demeaner" - by Park Flasher
"My Desert Crossing" - by I. Rhoda Camel
"My Happiest Day" - by Trudy Light
"Never read any book that is not a year old."-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Oh, very clever Worf.  Eat any good books lately?" -- Q
"Pain and Sorrow" - by Anne Guish
"PC Board Repairman" - by Solder Medic
"Play It Safe" - by Justin Case
"Polar Exploration"        - by U.R. Cole and I.M Freezin
"Popping the BIG One" - by Mary Mepleeze
"Preparing Leather" - by Tanya Hyde
"Professional Boxing" - by I. C. Stars
"Red Vegetables - Vol II" - by B. Troot
"Red Vegetables" - by Tom A. Toe
"Salad Dressings" - by Myra Culwhip
"School Reader" - by C. Dick & Jane Run
"Sharing Indian Beverages" - by T. Fatto
"Songs For Children" - by Barbara Blacksheep
"Split Personalities" - by Jacqueline Hyde
"Spring" - by April N. May
"Star Spangled Barrio" - by Jose Canusee.
"Stop Arguing" - by Xavier Breath
"Sunday Service" - by Neil Downe
"Take This Job And Shove It" - by Ike Witt
"Talking about books is never a waste of space....IMHO." - Mycroft
"Ten Pins" - by Mr. Strike
"The Adventures of WIN.INI the Pooh" - by W. Gates
"The Arctic Ocean" - by I. C. Waters
"The Art of Secret Dating" - by Rhonda Voo
"The Art of Shoplifting" - by Phil Mypockets
"The Big Snitch" - by Ima Telling
"The Credit Card" - by Wright N. Bills
"The Diamond Robbery" - by Jules Argon
"The Gangsters" - by Robin Steele
"The Great Fabrication" - by Paul E. Ester
"The Human Brain" - by Sarah Bellum
"The Incompetent Bullfighter" - by Gordon Bloody
"The Japanese way of Death" - by Harri Kari
"The LA Lakers' Breakfast" - by Kareem O'Wheat
"The Monkey Cage" - by Jim Panzee
"The Pirate" - by Peg Legg
"The Scent Of A Man" - by Jim Nasium
"The Solar System" - by P. Lanets & Son
"There's a Bobcat Under the Outhouse!" - by Claude Balls
"Tiping the Outhouse" - by John Turner
"Tipping the Outhouse" - by John Turner
"Traveling Insects" - by Bugs Oliver Windshield
"Tropical Paradise" - by Kumon Iwannaghuqya
"Upstream" - by Sam N. Fishing
"What's another word for Thesaurus?" s.w.
"When I want to read a book, I write one."  --Benjamin Disraeli
"When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"- H.W. Beecher
"Whenever books are burned, men, also, are burned." -- Heine
"Wind Instruments" - by Clara Net
"Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one." - Mrs. Wormwood
"Yours Forever" - by Tillie N. DeTeim
101 ways to play with yourself,  by Mr bater
250 Wongs listed in NYC Phone Book...Lottsa WONG Numbers!
50 Yards to the Outhouse - By Willie Makeit
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Distributed By Buddy Madeit
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Edited By Doris Locked
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Illustrated By Betty Wont
50 Yards to the Outhouse - Published By Andy Didnt
50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makeit and Betty Dont
50 Yards to the Outhouse,      by Willie Makit,
50 years of progress: Warsaw to Waco 1943-1993
5000 Miles in the Saddle by Major Assburn
A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore*
A book a day keeps the doldrums at bay.
A book is a present you can open again and again.
A book is the only immortality.
A Book of Verses underneath the Bough.
A book worth banning is a book worth reading.
A book, a duck, a song, some wine....perfection!
A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
A classic is a book that is praised but not read.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
A good book is the purest essence of a human soul.
A Great Plenty: by  E. Nuff
A house without books is like a room without windows.
A library serves no purpose unless someone is using it.
A lich, huh? No problem - I steal his spellbook.
A Magic Book that sticks with you: The VELCRONOMICON.
A Magick Book that sticks with you:  The VELCRONOMICON
A newspaper is to a book as a whore is to a lady.
a page short of a book
A real book is not one that is read, but one that reads us.
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
A signature short of a book.
A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt*
A Trip to the Dentist: Yin Pain
A Whole Lot of Cats: Kitt N. Caboodle
A wicked book cannot repent.
A winner: Don't judge a book by its movie.
Accountant: A person who uses your books to figure his profit.
Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights*
After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate*
Ahhh, lets turn to the habble do gee handbook.
Ain't no law! It's voluntary! It says so in the 1040 book!
Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe*
Almost Missed the Bus:  by Justin Time
Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway*
Amnesia: You've read the book now read the book.
And *any* book on Michelangelo's life.
And the Other People:   by Allan Sundry
And y'all don't ferget the book burnin' party at the church Satiddy.
Animal Illnesses:  by Ann Thrax
Animal Scents: Farrah Mones*
Another book 'how to make it big'. I got ripped off, it was about money.
Antlers in the Tree by Whogoosed The Moose
Anyway, what did the books know? Here was the real thing.
April Fool!:  by Sue Prize
Archery :  by  Beau N. Arrow
Arkansas: Bubble-gum cards are in the Great Books series.
Armed Heists: Robin Banks
Artificial Clothing: Polly Ester
Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity
As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar(b)
As the good book says...
Assault with Battery:  by Eva Ready
Assimilate me...tender...--Elvis of Borg
At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt*
Authored Computer Widow's Hand Book.
Authors do it by the book.
Baby In the Gas Tank:  by Who Pumped Ethel
Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett*
Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull(8)
Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
Banquet at McDonalds: Tommy Ayk*
Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk(a)
BBS Lingo: ISBAB; I Should have Bought A Book
Be careful when reading health books ... you might die of a misprint.
Beekeeping:  by A. P. Arry
Been reading those Illuminati conspiracy books again, huh?
Best selling books: "Rusty Bedsprings", by I. P. Nightly.
Better Mental Health:  by Cy Kosis
Big Fart!:  by Hugh Jass
Blech, green eggs and Spam. Mom used the Dr. Suess cookbook again.
Blood In the Saddle by The Kotex Kid
Book lovers never go to bed alone.
Book never written: Dog training. by Wille Bite.
Book Never Written: Programming The Female Operating System.
Book: bWhat you see is what you think.
Bookies are rarely found inside the library.
Bookkeepers do it with double entry.
Bookowordies=Another word for Thesaurus
Books are better than TV; they exercise your imagination.
Books are better. No commercial interruptions.
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Books are our friends.
Books are patient. Page 17 will still be on p. 17 tomorrow, or next week.
Books are the portals to new worlds.
Books on claustrophobia? In that little room over there.
Books will speak plain when counsellors blanch. -- Bacon
Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
Books: the alternative to television.
Books: They're what's for dinner.
Books?  Aren't those the things with words on 'em?
Books? I'd rather lend you my dog...he knows his way home!
Bookstores: the financial black hole of my wallet.
Bookworms only read about it.
BORE: Person who is an open book you don't want to read.
Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus*
Boy Scout's Handbook:  by Casey Needzit
Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum*
BRAZEL: The scratch plate on a matchbook.
Breaking the Law:  by Kermit A. Krime
Bring to the Grocer's:  by R. List
Brown Spots on the Wal: by Who Flungdung.
Buy my new book: 1001 Ways to Wok Your Dog.
C:\> Police Not Found: Try Adult Bookstore [Y/N]?
Cab Calloway's Garden:  by Heidi Ho
Can't stand the heat? Stop burning the books!
Candle-Vaulting:  by Jack B. Nimble
Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.
Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan*
Car pooling - By Sharif d'Ride
Car Repairs: Axel Grease*
Care For A Chop?:  by Marsha Larts
Celebrate Freedom:  Read a 'banned' book!
Celebrate your freedom: Read a banned book.
CHEAPER THAN IBM: P.C. CLONE(l)
Cheating on His Wife:  by Izzy Backyet*
Check book: a book with a unhappy ending.
Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn*
Children's Songbook:  by Skip Tumalu*
Chinese cookbook... 1001 ways to wok your dog!
Chirpin' and Jumpin':  by  Katie Didd*
Choking on your spellbook? Apply the Heim the Lich maneuver.
Christmas for Baldies:  by Yule Brynner
Circle Perimiter: Sir Cumference(h)
CLASSIC GROCERIES: CHOPIN LISZT(l)
Classic: A book which people praise and don't read.
Cloning: Irma Dubble II
Clothes for Germ Kings:  by Mike Robes
College Athletics:  by Nancy Dubblelay
Colonel Powell, alittle overqualified to work here at the Book Depository!?
Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth*
Come on in!:  by Doris Open
Computer Memories:  by  Meg Abight(7)
Condense soup, not books!
Confucius say, "Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is "
Constipation - By Sid Ondapott
Consult the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, Verses 9 to 21.
Cookbook on preparing our K9 friends. Woking the Dog!
Cooking Spaghetti:  by  Al Dente
Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks*
Covered Walkways:  by  R. Kade(6)
Crackdown: Lauren Order*
Creativity - Not referencing your sources.
Critters eating books, leaving behind crittercisms.
Crocodile Dundee:  by  Ali Gator
Cry Wolf:  by  Al Armist
Cures For Impotence - By Hugh G. Rection
Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn(b)
Daddy are We There Yet?:  by  Miles Away
Daily Retention by Peter Knight.
Dan Quayle library burned! Both books destroyed!
DANGER! DANGER! Computer Book Store Ahead, Hide Wallet.
Danger!:  by  Luke Out
David Coperfield with one P?
Death and comic books----AKA oil and water.
DECORATING YOUR MOUSEHOLE: MINNIE BLINDS(l)
Defeat of a Lion Tamer by Claud Bottom.
Defeat of a Lion Tamer by Claude Bottom
Defunct Nations:  by  Sophie Etunion
Descriptions of Heaven - By Pearly Gates
Desert Crossing:  by I. Rhoda Camel
Did I read a different driving manual than everyone else?
Did you read it in one of your books?
Dieting Made Easy - By Ann O'Rexic
DIGITAL NOTEPAD: A notebook that needs batteries.
Dino-netics: The Science of Selling Books.
Disengaged... We turn the page...
DM ADVICE: The rule book you want is at the bottom of the stack.
Do not judge a book by its movie.
Does a medical book have an appendix?
Does Jimmy Swaggart read Repenthouse?
Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch*
Don't forget to close your eyes when reading a scary book.
Don't judge a book by it's movie...
Don't Tread On Me:  by  Amanda B. Reckonwith
Don't worry: The answer's at the back of the book.
Down the Flagpole - By Dick Burns
Downpour!:  by Wayne Dwops
Dr. Seuss is dead. He's dead I said.
Drafted!: Abel Boddeed*
DRAGON.OD not found. Write a new book? Y/n [_]?
Drummed to Death - By Dee Bugit
East Coast Resorts:                Nan Tuckett*
EAST COAST UNIVERSITIES: CORA NELL(l)
Eat any good books lately? --Q.
Eating Disorders: by Anna Rexia
Ecclesiastical Infractions: by Cardinal Sin
Employment Handbook: Ernie Living.
En Garde!: by Drew Blood
Enough Television - Go Read a Book.
Equine Leg Cramps: Charlie Horse
Er, how about 'A Sale of Two Titties'?
Errors and Accidents: Miss Takes and Miss Haps
ESTOY LlSTO: Santa Claus's notebook.
Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying:
Every age hath its book.
Every burned book enlightens the world.
Ex-Presidential Retreat: by Kenny Bunkport
Exercise on Wheels: by Cy Kling
Exotic Irish Plants: by Phil O'Dendron
Explaining it Better: by Clara Fie
Exploring The Dutch Frontier: by Will Der Ness
EXTRA: Mindreader arrested for leaving bookmarks.
Fallen Underwear: by Lucy Lastic
Falling Trees: by Tim Burr
Famous Last Words: Let's go to the Bookstore. --JFK.
Fastest Gun In The West: by Everett DeReady
Fat Lady In The Sideshow: by Ellie Funt
FBI man to another: Have you booked any good reds lately?
Federal Law: 100,000 books explaining the 10 Commandments.
Feed Your Need To Read:
Feelings: by Cara Lott
Feelings: Cara Lott*
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse.       Willy Makit and Betty Won't
Fish Story: by Rod Enreel
Fistfights: by Donny Brooke
Fixing Computer Programs: by Dee Bugger
Flinky: Ink mark made when flipping thru a book with a pen.
FLIPS AND TUMBLES: by JIM NASTICS
Flogging in the Army.              Corporal Punishment
Flogging in the Army. by Corporal Punishment
Fondly dedicated to Book-Burner B*rry M*cha.
Foo Mail * Don't worry: The answer's at the back of the book.
Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks: by Paul Bunion
For the best vacations money can buy - Read Books!
For Used Book Saviors?... nah.
Fortune Telling: by Crystal Ball
Fred Can Philosophize!: by Immanuel Kant
French Cars: Myra Neault(k)
French Overpopulation: by Francis Crowded
Friends: People who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
FUBS. We're looking for a few good bookworms.
FUBS: A book in the mail is a WONDERFUL way to change :( to :).
Full Moon: by Seymour Buns
Full Moon: Seymour Buns
Fundamentalist libraries only need shelf space for ONE book.
Gambling: by Monty Carlos
Gardening With The Ex-President: by Rose Bush
Geez, It's Hot!: Mike Hammeldyed(j)
Get gun. Shoot computer. Find corner chair. Read book.
Get Moving!: by Sheik Aleg
Get Out There!: Sally Forth
Getting books in the mail makes my day a little brighter.
Girl On a Budget: by Penny Pincher
Go Away!: by Ron Onhome
Go Away!: Ron Onhome*
Go to a bookstore and ask for the self-help section.
Golly Gosh!: by G. Whiz
Gone Fishing: by Rod Annette
Gone With The Wind: by George Uh
Good Housekeeping: by Lottie Dust
Good one, Worf! Ate any good books lately? --Q.
Good Steak!: by T. Bone
Good things come to those who wait: Windows User Handbook.
Good Works: by Ben Evolent
Gotta go read.  My books are calling me.
Grave Mistakes: by Paul Bearer
Great Tennis Matches: by Davis Skupp
Green Lawn Chairs: by Patty O'Furniture
Greeting Sheep Strangers: by Hugh R. Ewe
GUARDING THE DOOR: by SERGEANT ATARMS
Guide To Mixology: by Bart Ender
Gunslingers with Gas: by Wyatt Urp
Handel's Messiah: by Ollie Luyah
Happy New Year!: by Mary Christmas
Harvesting Wild Plants: by Dudley Nightshade
Have you ever seen a book mark?
He Disappeared!:                   Otto Sight
He has more angles than a geometry book.
He has more chins than a Chinese phonebook!
He who dies with the most books...is still dead.
He who reads is never alone.
He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles
Head of Security: Barb Dwyer(9)
Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything*
Herbalist: Female 'Little Black Book.'
Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle*
Here's some more stuff from that 50 year old book I've got...
Here's your spellbook back. Now prepare to die.
Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr*
Hey, Worf! Eat any good books lately?
Highway Travel:                    Dusty Rhodes
His cousin booking fare cuts, he's got Billy Clinton's eyes!
History books get it right on the second edit.
History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya*
Hole In the Bed by Mr. Completely
Hole in the Mattress, by Mr. Completely
Hollywood Gossip:                  Phyllis Zinn*
Holmes Does It Again: Scott Linyard*
Home Alone III, The Sequel: Annie Buddyhome*
Honest officer, it was justifiable. SHE SOLD MY BOOKS!
Hot Dog!: Frank Furter
Hot tips don't come with reference books attached.
House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme(6)
Housework,                     by Dustin Cook
How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? She has a checkbook.
How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway*
How to Annoy: Aunt Agonize
How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free*
How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock*
How to Cook a Steak,           by Porter House
How to Cut Grass,              by Lon Moore
How to Draw,                   by Ellis Strait
How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake*
How to Overcome Stress: R.E. Lachs(k)
How to Party American Style,    by Al Cohol
How to Read a Book,            by Paige Turner
How to Succeed in School,      by Rita Book
How to Tour the Prison:            Robin Steele
How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm*
How_To_Serve_Man_ ... a recipe book from the Twilight Zone.
Humor section? In a feminist bookstore? Only a man...
Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme*
Hypnotism:                         N. Tranced
I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player*
I bought a book. Now I just have to learn how to read.
I can't be home, I'm not done with my book! --Mistopheles.
I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibi
I don't know how big this thing gets:
I feel the Need... The need to READ!
I go up to the lich and steal his spellbook.
I got lots of free books. They say Public Library on the cover.
I guess so...it's been a LONG time since I read that book.
I guess you CAN'T judge a cover by its book!.....
I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell
I Hate Monday Mornings: Gaetan Oop
I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight
I have read your book and much like it.
I Hit the Wall:                    Isadore There
I just finished my first book; now I'm going to read another one!
I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down!
I Like Fish: Ann Chovie
I Like Liquor: Ethyl Alcohol
I like reading books, but I LOVE reading Tarot!
I Like Weeding Gardens: Manuel Labour
I Lived in Detroit: Helen Earth
I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Phil Down
I Love Bullfighting: Matt Adore*
I Love Crowds: Morris Merrier
I Love Fractions: Lois C. Denominator
I love getting books in the mail.
I Love Mathematics:                Adam Up
I Love Wills: Benny Fishery
I Love You!: Alma Hart
I multi-task... I read in the bathroom.
I Must Fix the Car!: Otto Doit
I Need Insurance: Justin Case
I need more time for books
I never knew a girl who was ruined by a good book.
I never punched a guy in the brain before! --1963 (comic book).
I read banned books and messages.
I read banned books!
I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant.
I rush the lich and steal his spell book.
I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion(2)
I try to leave out the parts that people skip. -Elmore Leonard
I used to read books, now I read .QWK packets.
I used to read books.  Now I read *.DOC
I used to read books. Now I read Taglines!
I used to read books...before offline readers came along...
I Was a Cloakroom Attendant: Mahatma Coate(1)
I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd*
I was in a speed reading accident: I hit a bookmark......
I will share with you any tagline that has BOOK in it, stand back,
I Win!: U. Lose
I Work with Diamonds:              Jules Sparkle
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
I wrote several children's books -- not on purpose.
I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money*
I'll note you in my book of memories.
I'M AN ATHEIST: NOEL NOHEAVEN
I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid*
I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonymous
I'm waiting for the notebook to come out in paperback.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I'm writing a telephone book. May I have your number?
I've always wanted to read,... <thoughtful pause> ... a book.
I've given up reading books. It takes my mind off myself.
I've got a little black book with my poems in.
I've read all the books about heroes and crooks...
I've read almost all the books about heroes and crooks.
I've read SEVEN MILLION books!
I've seen the book.
I've written several children's books, not on purpose.
If a large book kills time..some prefer War and Peace.
If at first you don't succeed.. read the book!
If I Invited Him...: Woody Kum(3)
If it's going in, it's going on!
If we were to go by the book, hours would seem like days.
If you brag about the fact that you haven't read a book since high school.
If you don't read books, you are no better off then someone who can't.
If you own three tv's and only two books.
If your idea of 'The Classics' is a set of Readers Digest condensed books.
Illiterate?  Write for our free "HOW TO READ" booklet!
In Farmer MacGregor's Garden: Peter Abbott*
In Heidi's book? There must be another guy with my name.
In my book you're a great guy. But then it's a work of fiction.
In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." * Calvin
In Nature's infinite book of secrecy a little I can read.
In the Arctic Ocean: Isa Berg
Indian/Italian Cuisine: Ravi Oley*
Inflammation, Please!: Arthur Itis*
Interior Decorating: Curt Enrod*
Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal*
Irish First Aid: R.U. O'Kaye(k)
Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
Irony: Andrea Dworkin's book was banned as pornographic.
Is that a SK book in your pocket... or are you really happy to see me?
Isa.34:16 Seek ye out of the book of the LORD and read...
ISBAB: I should have bought a book.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better.
It Won't Work!: Mel Function*
It's a *very* small town if the phone book has a single yellow page.
It's a cookbook! `To Serve Man' is a COOK BOOK!
It's a Holdup!: Nick R. Elastic
It's a Shocker:                    Alec Tricity
It's a small town if the phone book has a single yellow p
It's a small town if the phone book has a single yellow page.
It's a small town if the phone book has a yellow page.
It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination*
It's Commander Book. He's read, Jim.
IT'S IN THE BOOK!"
It's Magic!: Sven Gali
It's not nice, it's Job. There's nothing very nice in the book of Job.
It's Springtime!: Theresa Green*
It's Unfair!: Y. Me
Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya*
Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh*
JEWISH MYSTICISM: LEV ITATION(l)
Join the Book Club!
Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard*
Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger(3)
Just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and can't put it down.
Just repeat to yourself, It's just a book I should really just relax!
Kangaroo Illnesses: Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
Keep it Clean!: Armand Hammer
Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer*
Keep the Books. Burn the Censors!
Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good,   by Ann Teak
Kindergarten Kop II: Bea Hayve*
Korean Cookbook: 1001 ways to Wok your Dog.
Laid Off!: Gwen Home*
Lawn Care: Ray King*
Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett
Lean books are often larded with the fat of others' works.
Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace
Let me read my twelve book epic: My favorite bath time gurgles.
Let me see what a search comes up with:
Let's Do it Now!: Igor Beaver
Let's see...how can I make this a tagline-oriented message?
Liberal Handbook Rule 2: Anyone who disagrees with you is a Nazi.
Library of Congress: Pork Barrel Cookbook (7th printing).
Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp*
Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy*
Life Before The Civil War: Aunty Bellum*
Life in Chicago: Wendy City
Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn*
Life Six Feet Under: Doug Graves*
Life's Little Destruction Book #603. Quote Rush Limbaugh to feminists.
Little Bitty Froggies: Tad Pole*
Lo and Behold! Your name is the first in Heidi's Book!
Long Walk: Miss D. Bus(j)
LONG WAY DOWN: RIP CORD BROKE(l)
Lorena Bobbitts new Book: 50 ways to CLEAVE your lover.
Los Angeles Pachyderms: L.A. Funt
Lots of Excitement: Hugh N. Cry
Low and Behold! Your name is the first in Heidi's Book!
Making a book is as much a craft as making a clock.
Making love Twenty Times a Day,  by Dick Kurtz
Malcolm X - skip the movie, read the book
Manana: Stew Layt*
Many pages does a thick book make.
Many pages make a thick book. To bad yours are blank!
Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana*
Maritime Disasters: Andrea Doria
May Flowers:                       April Showers
Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha*
Measles Collision!:                Kay Rash
Mensa Man:                         Gene Yuss
Mexican Revenge:                   Monty Zuma
Mexican/Italian Food:              Pepe Roney*
Michael's new book: The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing.
Migratory lifeform with a tropism for bookstores.
Military Defeats: Major Disaster and General Mayhem
MILITARY FAST: COLONEL O'CORN(l)
Military Rule: Marshall Law
Mineralogy for Giants:             Chris Tall
Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago(b)
Modern Tree Watches: Anna Log
Monkey Shines: Bob Boone
More for Your Money: Max Amize(3)
More than just a book-it's a major piece of torture.
Mosquito Bites: Ivan Itch
Mountain Climbing: Andover Hand
Music of the Sea:                  Lawrence Whelk
Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale
My book has a Communist plot.
My Career As A Clown: Abe Ozo*
My favorite novel? The Yellow Pages!
My Life as a College Student, by I. R. Smart
My Life as a Rapist,           by Comoniwanalaya
My Life in the Gutter:             Yves Trough
My Life on Skid Row: Titus A. Drum*
My Life With Annette: Amos Kateer*
My Lost Causes:                    Noah Veil
My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse*
My TSR manager said to buy more D&D books.
Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
Neat Shirts: Preston Ironed
NECROCOMEDION: The Book of Dead Jokes.
Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee
Never judge a book by its movie.
Never open a book before 4 p.m. Sunday. (Rule of Weekend Studying)
Never read any book that is not a year old. --Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Never saw an self-illuminated book before. Interesting.
New Asian Cookbook: 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog!
New book by Saddem Hussein: Sand to Glass in 5 seconds.
New Book:  _How to write a How To book_
New Book: "Secrets of the KKK" by Dewey, Lynch & Howe.
New book: 101 Ways to Brown-Nose to Success.
New Book: A FISH STORY by Czar Dean.
New Book: Animations Techniques Used in Making Beavis and Butthead.
New Book: BAD MONEY by Count R. Fitz.
New Book: BAND PLAYING by Clara Nett.
New Book: CALM DOWN by Ed. G. Nerfs.
New Book: CAUGHT IN THE FLOOD by Noah Zark.
New Book: Clint Howard: My Career Without My Brother Ron.
New Book: CUDDLY TOYS by Ted E. Behr.
New book: Do's and Don'ts for a Harmonious Honeymoon.
New Book: Dog Training by Willie Bite.
New Book: HANDLING YOUR EMOTIONS by Mel. N. Collie.
New Book: How to hike the longest Trail by Carrie Mee.
New Book: HOW TO MAKE A TOURNIQUET by Hank R. Schiff.
New Book: How to tell you friends from apes.
New Book: How to write a How To book.
New Book: ITALIAN FOOD by Liz Anya, Manny Kotty, Minnie Stroni and Lynn Guin
New Book: JAZZ MUSIC by Tenna Saxe.
New Book: Jimmy Carter, Servant of the Jesuit-Zionist Conspiracy.
New Book: KNOCKING YOUR FUNNY BONE by Lord Howard Hertz.
New Book: LaToya Jackson: My Career Without Michael and Janet.
New Book: LITTLE FISHES by Anne Chovey.
New Book: My exciting life by Frank Lee Boring.
New Book: MY LIFE IN CRIME by Upton O. Goode.
New Book: Neil Young's Grooming Tips.
New Book: Pitcairn Island Telephone Book (incl. Yellow Page).
New Book: Poison in Every Pot.
New Book: Polar Exploration by U.R. Cole and I.M Freezin.
New Book: Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill.
New Book: Science: Satan's Plot Against God and Man.
New Book: SCULPTING THE GODS OF GREECE AND ROME by Jove.
New Book: Sound Sleeping in 60 Seconds by Eliza Wake.
New Book: STOMACH CRAMPS by Henrietta Greenapple.
New Book: The Complete Chevy Chase Show.
New Book: THE GANGSTERS by Robin Steele.
New Book: The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton.
New Book: The Occult Technology of Money and the Moneylords.
New Book: THE STARS TELL IT ALL by Horace Cope.
New Book: THE TIN CAN COOKBOOK by Billie Gote.
New Book: The Yellow River by I. P. Freely.
New Book: TIME TO EAT! by Dean R. Bell.
New Book: Tom Arnold: My Career Without Roseanne.
New Book: UNIX Programmers Who Wear Ties.
New Book: WATERWAYS OF THE WORLD by Sue S. Canal.
New Book: Yoko Ono: My Career Without John Lennon.
New Book: YOU ALWAYS GET CAUGHT by Sue Nora Later.
New Book: _How to write a How To book_.
New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky.
New use for old computers: Book Ends
NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp*
Nice Hotels: Mary Ott(i)
Night spread across the Disk like plum jam.  <Sourcery>
Nine-tenths of all existing books are nonsense. --Disraeli.
No books are lost by lending, except those you wanted to keep.
No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.
No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuse
No, Dear. We sleep in the Garage with the Cars. The BOOKS stay here.
Nobel Prize Cannibals: Laurie Ate*
Noise is Forbidden!: Nada Loud
Nordic Groundskeepers:             Leif Raker*
Not a Guitar!: Amanda Lin(e)
Now come on, you can tell me.. you're in Heidi's book huh?
Now let me show you something that isn't in the dressage book.
Now why didn't you tell us that you wore a pocketbook?
Now why was your name in Heidi's little black book?
Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion*
Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis
Off To Market: Tobias A. Pigg
Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer*
Oh! Gotta GO! 2yr old has my 386 notebook!
Oh, so very clever! Eat any good books lately?
Oh, very clever Worf. Eat any good books lately? -- Q.
Oh, very good, Worf. Eat any good books lately?
Okay everybody, put away your books, time for a POP QUIZ!!
Old is when all the phone numbers in your black book are doctors.
Older, Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday*
Only Cats, Music, Books, and Computers justify the human race.
Options Trading: June Gold*
Outdoor Activities:                Alf Resco(6)
Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue*
Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright*
Overweight Vegetables: O. Beets
Pain in My Body: Otis Leghurts
Pain Relief: Ann L. Gesick(6)
Parachuting: Hugo First
Party On, Dude: Jill Out*
Pee Wee's Book:How to make it big in the movies.
Peewee's favorite book: 'Sexual positions for one' by Ivan Jackinoff
PENTAGON PRESS RELEASE: COLONEL O'TRUTH AND LOTTA LIES(l)
Perhaps you have learn'd it without book.
Personal Best: Marco DeStinction*
Perverted Mushrooms: M. Morel
Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower*
Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe*
Pocketbook wearing Jester: See Richard Hsiung...
Poetry in Baseball: Homer
Positive Reinforcement: Wade Ago*
Prayers For Children:              Cindy Skool*
Pre-coding checklist; Pencil\paper [X] Ref. books [X] Snickers bar [X].
Preaching to Hell's Angels:        Pastor Redlight(1)
Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction*
Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde*
Pretty women are fun to be with, but good books are a READ!
Prevent Drowning:                  Buddy System*
Prison = Clothes, Food, Bed, TV, Books, Recreation = Comfort.
PRODIGY - the World's Largest Online Coloring Book!
Producing a book is like typing a lot.
Professor/Teacher: A textbook wired for sound.
Professor: a textbook wired for liberalism.
Professor: A textbook wired for sound.
Professors DO IT by the book.
Proverbs: You can't judge a book by its cover.
Pull with All You've Got!: Eve Ho
Pull Yourself Together!: Annette Curtain(f)
Pulpit: A paperback book rack.
Pulpitt: A paperback book rack.
Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze*
PUNNY BOOK = A Bestiary of Plant Eaters: Herb Avore.
PUNNY BOOK = A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
PUNNY BOOK = A Great Plenty: E. Nuff.
PUNNY BOOK = A Stuntman To The End: Kenny Doitt.
PUNNY BOOK = A Whole Lot of Cats: Kitt N. Caboodle.
PUNNY BOOK = Acrophobia Explained: Alfredo Heights.
PUNNY BOOK = After The Corned Beef And Cabbage: Kay O'Pectate.
PUNNY BOOK = Ah, Thor!: Ty Till.
PUNNY BOOK = All Alone: Saul E. Terry.
PUNNY BOOK = Allegiance To The King: Neil Downe.
PUNNY BOOK = Ambulance Driving: Adam Muhway.
PUNNY BOOK = And Shut Up!: Sid Downe.
PUNNY BOOK = Animal Illnesses: Ann Thrax.
PUNNY BOOK = Animal Scents: Farrah Mones.
PUNNY BOOK = April Fool!: Sue Prize.
PUNNY BOOK = Archery: Beau N. Arrow.
PUNNY BOOK = Armed Heists: Robin Banks.
PUNNY BOOK = Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity.
PUNNY BOOK = As Solid as...: Rocco Gibraltar.
PUNNY BOOK = At The Bottom Of The Can: Hazel Nutt.
PUNNY BOOK = Back Row Of The Orchestra: Clara Nett.
PUNNY BOOK = Bad Cow Jokes: Terry Bull.
PUNNY BOOK = Bad Gardeners: Wilt Plant
PUNNY BOOK = Battle Axes: Tom A. Hawk.
PUNNY BOOK = Beekeeping: A. V. Arry.
PUNNY BOOK = Big Fart!: Hugh Jass.
PUNNY BOOK = Blowout!: Vlad Tire.
PUNNY BOOK = Boring Midwestern Cities: Cole Lumbus.
PUNNY BOOK = Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit.
PUNNY BOOK = Brane Surjery Maid Simpel: Sarah Bellum.
PUNNY BOOK = Breaking the Law: Kermit A. Krime.
PUNNY BOOK = Candle-Vaulting: Jack B. Nimble.
PUNNY BOOK = Car Capital Of The World: Mitch Egan.
PUNNY BOOK = Car Repairs: Axel Grease.
PUNNY BOOK = Care For A Chop?: Marsha Larts.
PUNNY BOOK = Cheating on His Wife: Izzy Backyet.
PUNNY BOOK = Chicago Gangs Of The '30's: Tommy Gunn.
PUNNY BOOK = Christmas for Baldies: Yule Brynner.
PUNNY BOOK = Cloning: Ima Dubble.
PUNNY BOOK = College Athletics: Nancy Dubblelay.
PUNNY BOOK = Columbus, Vespucci, And Me: Enzo DiUrth.
PUNNY BOOK = Come on in!: Doris Open.
PUNNY BOOK = Computer Memories: Meg Abight.
PUNNY BOOK = Confessions Of A Gold Digger: Emile Ticket.
PUNNY BOOK = Cooking Spaghetti: Al Dente.
PUNNY BOOK = Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks.
PUNNY BOOK = Covered Walkways: R. Kade.
PUNNY BOOK = Crackdown: Lauren Order.
PUNNY BOOK = Crocodile Dundee: Ali Gator.
PUNNY BOOK = Cry Wolf: Al Armist.
PUNNY BOOK = Cut the Grass!: Moses Lawn.
PUNNY BOOK = Daddy are We There Yet?: Miles Away.
PUNNY BOOK = Danger!: Luke Out.
PUNNY BOOK = Defunct Nations: Sophie Etunion.
PUNNY BOOK = Desert Crossing: I. Rhoda Camel.
PUNNY BOOK = Do It Yourself: Tyrone Shoelaces.
PUNNY BOOK = Don't Do Anything Rash: Jacques Itch.
PUNNY BOOK = Don't Tread On Me: Amanda B. Reckonwith.
PUNNY BOOK = Downpour!: Wayne Dwops.
PUNNY BOOK = Drafted!: Abel Boddeed.
PUNNY BOOK = Dull Razor: Nick Shaving.
PUNNY BOOK = East Coast Resorts: Nan Tuckett.
PUNNY BOOK = Eating Disorders: Anna Rexia.
PUNNY BOOK = Ecclesiastical Infractions: Cardinal Sin.
PUNNY BOOK = En Garde!: Drew Blood.
PUNNY BOOK = Equine Leg Cramps: Charlie Horse.
PUNNY BOOK = Errors and Accidents: Miss Takes and Miss Haps.
PUNNY BOOK = Events In The Soviet Union: Perry Stroika.
PUNNY BOOK = Ex-Presidential Retreat: Kenny Bunkport.
PUNNY BOOK = Exercise on Wheels: Cy Kling.
PUNNY BOOK = Exotic Irish Plants: Phil O'Dendron.
PUNNY BOOK = Exploring The Dutch Frontier: Will Der Ness.
PUNNY BOOK = Fallen Underwear: Lucy Lastic.
PUNNY BOOK = Falling Trees: Tim Burr.
PUNNY BOOK = Fastest Gun In The West: Everett DeReady.
PUNNY BOOK = Fat Lady In The Sideshow: Ellie Funt.
PUNNY BOOK = Feelings: Cara Lott.
PUNNY BOOK = Fifty Yards to the Outhouse: Willy Makit and Betty Woant.
PUNNY BOOK = Fingerplay: Jacob Sladder.
PUNNY BOOK = Fish Story: Rod Enreel.
PUNNY BOOK = Fistfights: Donny Brooke.
PUNNY BOOK = Fixing Computer Programs: Dee Bugger.
PUNNY BOOK = Flogging in the Army: Corporal Punishment.
PUNNY BOOK = Foot Coverings: Susan Socks.
PUNNY BOOK = Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks: Paul Bunion.
PUNNY BOOK = Fortune Telling: Crystal Ball.
PUNNY BOOK = Fred Can Philosophize!: Immanuel Kant.
PUNNY BOOK = French Overpopulation: Francis Crowded.
PUNNY BOOK = Full Moon: Seymour Buns
PUNNY BOOK = Gambling: Monty Carlos.
PUNNY BOOK = Gangway!: Hedda Steam.
PUNNY BOOK = Gardening With The Ex-President: Rose Bush.
PUNNY BOOK = Get Moving!: Sheik Aleg.
PUNNY BOOK = Get Out There!: Sally Forth.
PUNNY BOOK = Go Away!: Ron Onhome.
PUNNY BOOK = Golly Gosh!: G. Whiz.
PUNNY BOOK = Gone Fishing: Rod Annette.
PUNNY BOOK = Gone With The Wind: George Uh.
PUNNY BOOK = Good Housekeeping: Lottie Dust
PUNNY BOOK = Good Steak!: T. Bone.
PUNNY BOOK = Good Works: Ben Evolent.
PUNNY BOOK = Grave Mistakes: Paul Bearer.
PUNNY BOOK = Green Lawn Chairs: Patty O'Furniture.
PUNNY BOOK = Greeting Sheep Strangers: Hugh R. Ewe.
PUNNY BOOK = Guide To Mixology: Bart Ender.
PUNNY BOOK = Handel's Messiah: Ollie Luyah.
PUNNY BOOK = Happy New Year!: Mary Christmas
PUNNY BOOK = Harvesting Wild Plants: Dudley Nightshade.
PUNNY BOOK = He Disappeared!: Otto Sight.
PUNNY BOOK = He's Contagious!: Lucas Measles.
PUNNY BOOK = Head of Security: Barb Dwyer.
PUNNY BOOK = Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!: Aldo Anything.
PUNNY BOOK = Here's Pus In Your Eye: Lance Boyle.
PUNNY BOOK = Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr.
PUNNY BOOK = Highway Travel: Dusty Rhodes.
PUNNY BOOK = Hiya Fella: Gladys Eeya.
PUNNY BOOK = Hollywood Gossip: Phyllis Zinn.
PUNNY BOOK = Holmes Does It Again: Scott Linyard.
PUNNY BOOK = Home Alone III, The Sequel: Eddie Buddyhome.
PUNNY BOOK = Hot Dog!: Frank Furter.
PUNNY BOOK = House Construction: Bill Jerome Holme.
PUNNY BOOK = House Plants: Clay Potts.
PUNNY BOOK = How I Won The Marathon: Randy Hoelway.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Annoy: Aunt Agonize.
PUNNY BOOK = How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Break In: Jimmy De Lock.
PUNNY BOOK = How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake.
PUNNY BOOK = How to Tour the Prison: Robin Steele
PUNNY BOOK = How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm.
PUNNY BOOK = Hunger In America: Heywood Jafeedme
PUNNY BOOK = Hypnotism: N. Tranced.
PUNNY BOOK = I Beat Bobby Fischer: Jess Player.
PUNNY BOOK = I Can Fix It: Jerry Rigg.
PUNNY BOOK = I Can't See The Difference: Sam Ting.
PUNNY BOOK = I Didn't Do It!: Ivan Alibi.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate Fighting: Boris Hell.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate Monday Mornings: Gaetan Oop.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight.
PUNNY BOOK = I Hit the Wall: Isadore There
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Fish: Ann Chovie.
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Liquor: Ethyl Alcohol
PUNNY BOOK = I Like Weeding Gardens: Manuel Labour.
PUNNY BOOK = I Lived in Detroit: Helen Earth
PUNNY BOOK = I Lost My Balance: Eileen Dover and Paul Down
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Crowds: Morris Merrier.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Fractions: Lois C. Denominator
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Mathematics: Adam Up.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love Wills: Benny Fishery.
PUNNY BOOK = I Love You!: Alma Hart.
PUNNY BOOK = I Need Insurance: Justin Case.
PUNNY BOOK = I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voyant.
PUNNY BOOK = I Say So!: Frank O. Pinion.
PUNNY BOOK = I Want to Help: Abel N. Willin.
PUNNY BOOK = I Was a Cloakroom Attendant: Mahatma Coate.
PUNNY BOOK = I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd.
PUNNY BOOK = I Win!: U. Lose.
PUNNY BOOK = I Work with Diamonds: Jules Sparkle.
PUNNY BOOK = I Wuz Framed!: Gil Tee.
PUNNY BOOK = I Wuz Robbed!: Alma Money.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Fine: Howard Yu.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Scared!: Emma Fraid.
PUNNY BOOK = I'm Someone Else: Ima Nonymous
PUNNY BOOK = In The Trenches: Helmut Wearer.
PUNNY BOOK = Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue.
PUNNY BOOK = Inflammation, Please!: Arthur Itis.
PUNNY BOOK = Irish Dentistry: Perry O'Dontal.
PUNNY BOOK = Irish Flooring: Lynn O'Leum
PUNNY BOOK = It Won't Work!: Mel Function.
PUNNY BOOK = It's a Holdup!: Nick R. Elastic
PUNNY BOOK = It's a Shocker: Alec Tricity.
PUNNY BOOK = It's All In Your Head: Madge Ination.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Magic!: Sven Gali.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Springtime!: Theresa Green.
PUNNY BOOK = It's Unfair!: Y. Me.
PUNNY BOOK = Italian Delicacies: Liz Onya.
PUNNY BOOK = Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh.
PUNNY BOOK = Joys of Cowardice: Lily Livard.
PUNNY BOOK = Judging Fast Food: Warren Berger.
PUNNY BOOK = Just Say No: Will Power.
PUNNY BOOK = Kangaroo Illnesses: Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
PUNNY BOOK = Keep it Clean!: Armand Hammer.
PUNNY BOOK = Keep Out!: Barb Dwyer.
PUNNY BOOK = Laid Off!: Gwen Home.
PUNNY BOOK = Lawn Care: Ray King.
PUNNY BOOK = Lawyers of Suffering: Grin and Barrett.
PUNNY BOOK = Leo Tolstoy: Warren Peace.
PUNNY BOOK = Let's Do it Now!: Igor Beaver.
PUNNY BOOK = Lewis Carroll: Alison Wonderland.
PUNNY BOOK = Life As A Comic: Stan Dupp.
PUNNY BOOK = Life Before Cars: Orson Buggy.
PUNNY BOOK = Life Before The Civil War: Aunty Bellum.
PUNNY BOOK = Life in Chicago: Wendy City.
PUNNY BOOK = Life In The Sorority House: Carrie Onn.
PUNNY BOOK = Look Younger: Fay Slift.
PUNNY BOOK = Lots of Excitement: Hugh N. Cry.
PUNNY BOOK = Lotsa Luck: Bess Twishes.
PUNNY BOOK = Love Wills: Benny Fishery
PUNNY BOOK = Manana: Stew Layt.
PUNNY BOOK = Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen: Minnie Sota.
PUNNY BOOK = Mardi Gras Time: Lou Isiana.
PUNNY BOOK = Maritime Disasters: Andrea Doria.
PUNNY BOOK = Masterpieces Of Fox TV: Annette Work.
PUNNY BOOK = May Flowers: April Showers.
PUNNY BOOK = Meals On Safari: Lionel Eecha.
PUNNY BOOK = Measles Collision!: Kay Rash.
PUNNY BOOK = Meat Eaters: Carney Vore.
PUNNY BOOK = Mensa Man: Gene Yuss.
PUNNY BOOK = Mexican Revenge: Monty Zuma.
PUNNY BOOK = Military Defeats: Major Disaster and General Mayhem.
PUNNY BOOK = Military Rule: Marshall Law.
PUNNY BOOK = Misunderstood: Art Tistic.
PUNNY BOOK = Mobile Homes: Winnie Bago.
PUNNY BOOK = Monkey Shines: Bob Boone.
PUNNY BOOK = Mosquito Bites: Ivan Itch.
PUNNY BOOK = Mountain Climbing: Andover Hand.
PUNNY BOOK = Music of the Sea: Lawrence Whelk.
PUNNY BOOK = Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale.
PUNNY BOOK = My Life on Skid Row: Titus A. Drum.
PUNNY BOOK = My Lost Causes: Noah Veil.
PUNNY BOOK = My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse.
PUNNY BOOK = Mystery in the Barnyard: Hu Flung Dung
PUNNY BOOK = Neither a Borrower: Nora Lender Bee.
PUNNY BOOK = NHL Hockey: Stanley Kupp.
PUNNY BOOK = No More Circuit Breakers!: Ira Fuse.
PUNNY BOOK = No: Kurt Reply
PUNNY BOOK = Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows.
PUNNY BOOK = Not So Hot: Luke Warm.
PUNNY BOOK = Nuclear Power Bafflement: Ken Fusion.
PUNNY BOOK = Nuts about You!: Cy Cosis.
PUNNY BOOK = Off To Market: Tobias A. Pigg.
PUNNY BOOK = Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer.
PUNNY BOOK = Okee Dokee: Roger Wilco.
PUNNY BOOK = One Hundred Years Old: Abbie Birthday.
PUNNY BOOK = Options Trading: June Gold.
PUNNY BOOK = Outdoor Activities: Alf Resco.
PUNNY BOOK = Outdoor Cookery: Barbie Cue.
PUNNY BOOK = Overcoming Nervousness On Radio: Mike Fright.
PUNNY BOOK = Pain in My Body: Otis Leghurts.
PUNNY BOOK = Pain Relief: Ann L. Gesick.
PUNNY BOOK = Parachuting: Hugo First.
PUNNY BOOK = Party On, Dude: Jill Out.
PUNNY BOOK = Peeping Tom: Sawyer Scanties.
PUNNY BOOK = Personal Best: Marco DeStinction.
PUNNY BOOK = Pilgrim Settlers: May Flower.
PUNNY BOOK = Plumb Good: Dwayne Pipe.
PUNNY BOOK = Poetry in Baseball: Homer.
PUNNY BOOK = Preaching to Hell's Angels: Pastor Redlight.
PUNNY BOOK = Prepare To Meet Your Maker: Eva DeStruction.
PUNNY BOOK = Preparing Leather: Tanya Hyde.
PUNNY BOOK = Prevent Drowning: Buddy System.
PUNNY BOOK = Pull with All You've Got!: Eve Ho.
PUNNY BOOK = Punk Rock Rulez!: Lotta Noyze.
PUNNY BOOK = Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious.
PUNNY BOOK = Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants.
PUNNY BOOK = Racketeering: Dennis Court.
PUNNY BOOK = Raising Flowers By Hand: Flo Wrist.
PUNNY BOOK = Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar.
PUNNY BOOK = Ready...Set...: Sadie Word.
PUNNY BOOK = Red Vegetables: B. Troot.
PUNNY BOOK = Repent At Leisure: Marion Hayste.
PUNNY BOOK = Riel Ambush!: May T. Surprise
PUNNY BOOK = Robots: Anne Droid
PUNNY BOOK = Round the World: Madge Ellen.
PUNNY BOOK = Rules For Living: Sharon Sharalike.
PUNNY BOOK = Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra.
PUNNY BOOK = Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish.
PUNNY BOOK = Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd.
PUNNY BOOK = Scuffed Floors: Mark Tupp.
PUNNY BOOK = Sea Birds: Al Batross.
PUNNY BOOK = Self Denial Made Easy: Abner Gation.
PUNNY BOOK = Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver.
PUNNY BOOK = Shhh!: Danielle Soloud
PUNNY BOOK = Ship Mysteries: Marie Celeste.
PUNNY BOOK = Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper.
PUNNY BOOK = Skunks in the Shrubbery: P. Yew.
PUNNY BOOK = Small Vegetables: Russell Sprout.
PUNNY BOOK = Smart Beer Making: Bud Wiser.
PUNNY BOOK = Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe.
PUNNY BOOK = Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen.
PUNNY BOOK = Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust.
PUNNY BOOK = Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast.
PUNNY BOOK = Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile
PUNNY BOOK = Sofa so Good: Chester Field
PUNNY BOOK = Solving Crimes: D. Tective.
PUNNY BOOK = Some Like it Sweet: Sugar Kane.
PUNNY BOOK = Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep.
PUNNY BOOK = Songs from 'South Pacific': Sam and Janet Evening.
PUNNY BOOK = Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo.
PUNNY BOOK = Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde.
PUNNY BOOK = Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee.
PUNNY BOOK = Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco.
PUNNY BOOK = Stop Arguing: Xavier Breath.
PUNNY BOOK = String Instruments: Viola Player.
PUNNY BOOK = Strong Winds: Gail Force.
PUNNY BOOK = Surprised!: Omar Gosh.
PUNNY BOOK = Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters.
PUNNY BOOK = Tailoring: Serge Soote.
PUNNY BOOK = Take a Break!: Colin Sick.
PUNNY BOOK = Take This Job And Shove It: Ike Witt.
PUNNY BOOK = Teach Me!: I. Wanda Know
PUNNY BOOK = Tear Up Those Betting Slips: Lou Zerr.
PUNNY BOOK = Teenagers Of The '50's: Bobbie Sox.
PUNNY BOOK = The Auto Salvage Business: Rex Toad.
PUNNY BOOK = The Beach Bully: Harry Ayp.
PUNNY BOOK = The Bog: Pete Maas.
PUNNY BOOK = The Candy Store: Pepper Mintz.
PUNNY BOOK = The Criminals Of Watergate: Barton Mee.
PUNNY BOOK = The Dead Of Winter: Jan Yuary.
PUNNY BOOK = The Effects of Alcohol: Sir Osis of Liver.
PUNNY BOOK = The Empath: Ophelia Sadness.
PUNNY BOOK = The Excitement of Trees: I. M. Board.
PUNNY BOOK = The Fall of a Watermelon: S. Platt.
PUNNY BOOK = The Fortuneteller: Reid Palms.
PUNNY BOOK = The French Chef: Sue Flay.
PUNNY BOOK = The Garden State: Ida Hoe.
PUNNY BOOK = The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp.
PUNNY BOOK = The Greasy Spoon: Chris Coe.
PUNNY BOOK = The Great Escape: Freida Convict.
PUNNY BOOK = The Great Flood: Noah Zark.
PUNNY BOOK = The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear.
PUNNY BOOK = The Hitchhiker: Juan Nalift.
PUNNY BOOK = The Industrial Revolution: Otto Mattick.
PUNNY BOOK = The Irish Heart Surgeon: Angie O'Plasty.
PUNNY BOOK = The LA Lakers' Breakfast: Kareem O'Wheat.
PUNNY BOOK = The Lady Pirate: Peg Legg.
PUNNY BOOK = The Last Roundup: Brandon Irons.
PUNNY BOOK = The Lion Attacked: Claudia Armoff.
PUNNY BOOK = The Miracle Drug: Penny Cillin.
PUNNY BOOK = The Monkey Cage: Jim Panzee.
PUNNY BOOK = The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr.: Candy Mann.
PUNNY BOOK = The National Science Foundation: Grant Money.
PUNNY BOOK = The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King.
PUNNY BOOK = The Paper Route: Avery Daye.
PUNNY BOOK = The Peace Mission: Olive Branch.
PUNNY BOOK = The Perils Of Drug Addiction: Anita Fixx.
PUNNY BOOK = The Phillipine Post Office: Imelda Letter.
PUNNY BOOK = The Porn Queen: Mona Lott.
PUNNY BOOK = The Scent Of A Man: Jim Nasium.
PUNNY BOOK = The Senior Prom: Spike Drink.
PUNNY BOOK = The Smorgasbord: Buffy Dinner.
PUNNY BOOK = The Squeaking Gate: Rusty Hinges.
PUNNY BOOK = The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap.
PUNNY BOOK = The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope.
PUNNY BOOK = The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent.
PUNNY BOOK = The TV News Anchorman: Maury Ports.
PUNNY BOOK = The Twelfth Month: Dee Sember.
PUNNY BOOK = The World's Best Recipes: Gus Tatorial.
PUNNY BOOK = The World's Deadliest Joke: Theophilus Punoval.
PUNNY BOOK = Theft and Robbery: Andy Tover.
PUNNY BOOK = Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples.
PUNNY BOOK = Those Funny Dogs: Joe Kur.
PUNNY BOOK = Tight Situation: Leah Tard.
PUNNY BOOK = Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood.
PUNNY BOOK = To be Honest: Frank Lee.
PUNNY BOOK = Too Rough: Soren Redd.
PUNNY BOOK = Trial Law: Tess Temoni.
PUNNY BOOK = Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt.
PUNNY BOOK = Tug of War: Paul Hard.
PUNNY BOOK = Turtle Racing: Eubie Quick.
PUNNY BOOK = Unemployed: Anita Job.
PUNNY BOOK = Unsolved Mysteries: N. Igma.
PUNNY BOOK = Unwanted Babies: Anna Bortion.
PUNNY BOOK = Wake Up!: Sal Ammoniac.
PUNNY BOOK = We Won 20-1!: Barry Um.
PUNNY BOOK = We're All Flakes: Dan Druff.
PUNNY BOOK = Webster's Words: Dick Shunnary.
PUNNY BOOK = West Coast Universities: Stan Ford.
PUNNY BOOK = What I Took: Irv Erginity.
PUNNY BOOK = What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel.
PUNNY BOOK = What's For Dinner?: Chuck Roast.
PUNNY BOOK = Whatchamacallit!: Thingum Bob.
PUNNY BOOK = When's The Revolution?: Millie Tant.
PUNNY BOOK = Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago.
PUNNY BOOK = Who Killed Cock Robin?: Howard I. Know.
PUNNY BOOK = Why Cars Stop: M.T. Tank.
PUNNY BOOK = Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves.
PUNNY BOOK = Wind Instruments: Tom Bone.
PUNNY BOOK = Winning the Race: Vic Tree.
PUNNY BOOK = Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye.
PUNNY BOOK = Without Warning: Oliver Sudden.
PUNNY BOOK = Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt.
PUNNY BOOK = Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono.
PUNNY BOOK = You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette.
PUNNY BOOK = You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth.
PUNNY BOOK = You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny.
PUNNY BOOK = You're Kidding!: Shirley U. Jest.
PUNNY BOOK = You're So Sweet: Mable Syrup.
Punny Book: Back Row Of The Orchestra - Clara Nett
Punny Book: Bad Cow Jokes - Terry Bull
Punny Book: Bad Gardeners - Wilt Plant
Punny Book: Bad Money - Count R. Fitz.
Punny Book: Battle Axes - Tom A. Hawk
Punny Book: Beekeeping - A. V. Arry
Punny Book: Beneath the bleachers - Seemore Butz
Punny Book: Big Fart! - Hugh Jass
Punny Book: Blood In the Saddle - The Kotex Kid
Punny Book: Blowout! - Vlad Tire
Punny Book: Boring Midwestern Cities - Cole Lumbus
Punny Book: Boy Scout's Handbook - Casey Needzit
Punny Book: Brane Surjery Maid Simpel - Sarah Bellum
Punny Book: Breaking the Law - Kermit A. Krime
Punny Book: Candle-Vaulting - Jack B. Nimble
Punny Book: Car Capital Of The World - Mitch Egan
Punny Book: Car Repairs - Axel Grease
Punny Book: Care For A Chop? - Marsha Larts
Punny Book: Cheating on His Wife - Izzy Backyet
Punny Book: Chicago Gangs Of The '30's - Tommy Gunn
Punny Book: Christmas for Baldies - Yule Brynner
Punny Book: Cloning - Ima Dubble
Punny Book: College Athletics - Nancy Dubblelay
Punny Book: Columbus, Vespucci, And Me - Enzo DiUrth
Punny Book: Come on in! - Doris Open
Punny Book: Computer Memories - Meg Abight
Punny Book: Confessions Of A Gold Digger - Emile Ticket
Punny Book: Cooking Spaghetti - Al Dente
Punny Book: Cosmetology - Rosie Cheeks
Punny Book: Covered Walkways - R. Kade
Punny Book: Crackdown - Lauren Order
Punny Book: Crocodile Dundee - Ali Gator
Punny Book: Cry Wolf - Al Armist
Punny Book: Cut the Grass! - Moses Lawn
Punny Book: Go To Bed - Ida Wanna
Punny Book: Too Many Beers - I.P. Freely
Punny Book: Too Much Diet Coke - I.P. Freely
Punny Book: Tracks in the Sand - Peter Dragon
Punny Book: Who Killed Cock Robin - Ida Know
Punny Books: A Boxing Cornerman's Story: Dawson DeTowel.
Punny Books: Ah, Thor!: Ty Till.
Punny Books: Artificial Weightlessness: Andy Gravity.
Punny Books: Boy Scout's Handbook: Casey Needzit.
Punny Books: Ecclesiastical Infractions: Cardinal Sin.
Punny Books: I Love Mathematics: Adam Up.
Punny Books: Indiana Jones' Adventures: Darrin Rescue.
Punny Books: Jewish Holidays: Hannah Kuhh.
Punny Books: Not Bogged Down In Reality
Punny Books: Not Bogged Down In Reality: Jason Rainbows.
Punny Books: Poetry in Baseball: Homer.
Punny Books: Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen.
Punny Books: Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo.
Punny Books: Swimming in the Arctic: I. C. Waters.
Punny Books: The German Bank Robbery: Hans Zupp.
Punny Books: Unemployed: Anita Job.
Put'er There, Pal!: Greg Garious*
Quick, burn the books.
Quips For The Young At Heart: Marty Pants*
Quit reading mail, load your word processor, and write that book!
Racketeering: Dennis Court
Rangers In The Night: Forrest Fyar*
Rapunzel, Rapunzel!: Harris Long
Rare Book:  One that comes back after you've lent it.
Read newspapers - an informed citizen panics more intelligently.
Read the best books first, or you may not be able to read them all.
Reading, Writing, and the Buying of Books.   What else is there???
Reagan library burned! Both books destroyed! Crayons saved ,though.
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading.
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading. * Jonathan Lang
Reality depends on the book I am currently reading."
Red Vegetables:                    B. Troot(6)
Redundant book title: MACs For Dummies.
Reed: Limbless man on a pile of books.
Repent and return those library books.
Repent At Leisure: Marion Hayste*
Research is when you steal from 100 books.
Revenge of the baby by Nora Titt
Revenge of the cat by Claude Balls
Riel Ambush!:                      May T. Surprise
Ring of DM control! That's NOT in the book!
Robots: Anne Droid
Ronald Reagan library burned! Both books destroyed! Crayons melted!
Ronald Reagan's library just burned down. Both books were destroyed.
Round the World: Madge Ellen(7)
Rules For Living:                  Sharon Sharalike*
RUSSIAN TENNIS SHOES: IVAN ODOR(l)
Rusty Bedsprings - By Doomore Wetting
Rusty Bedsprings,            by I.P. Nightly
Sarah Jane Smith to write tell-all book: DOCTOR IN MY HOUSE.
Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra*
Scandinavian Photography: Matt Finnish*
Science fiction stories are whatever sf editors buy.-J Campbell
Scottish Kilt Patterns: Glen Pladd*
Sea Birds: Al Batross(6)
SEASON TICKETS: OPRAH MAVEN(l)
Seek ye out of the book of the LORD and read. Isa 34:16.
Seen the shows, read the books, the books were better!
Self Denial Made Easy: Abner Gation*
Send $20 for my new book, Money is the Root of All Evil.
Sequal to "The Godfather" - "War and Pizza."
Shaky Knees: Cliff Diver*
She had more Chins than the Chinese phonebook!
She had more chins than the Hong Kong phone book.
She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
She was so fat, she had more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Shhh!:                             Danielle Soloud*
Ship Mysteries: Marie Celeste
Shoes For Farm And Ranch: Claude Hopper*
Sign in a book store: WE TREAT YOU WRITE.
SILLY RABBIT: TRIXIE R. FORKIDS(l)
Silmarillion: Worst book by a dead man.
Silmarillion: Worst book not by J.R.R. Tolkien.
SilmarillionWorst book by a dead man.
SilmarillionWorst book not by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Skunks in the Shrubbery:           P. Yew
Slash. Maim. Mutilate. (Any recipe, any cookbook).
Small Vegetables:                  Russell Sprout*
Smart Beer Making:                 Bud Wiser
Smash His Lobster!: Buster Crabbe
Smoker's Cough: Nick O'Teen*
Snakes of the World: Anna Conda
Snorting My Way To Heaven: Angel Dust*
So many books, so little time
So many books, so little time <sigh>.
So whats the big brouhaha about my name in Heidi's book?
So why does Heidi Fleiss have you 9 times in her book?
So...anyone read any good books lately?
Soak Your Ex-Husband: Ali Money(6)
Social Insecurity: Wilma Moneylast*
Soda Pop History: Ginger Aile(a)
Sofa so Good: Chester Field
Some books leave us free and some books make us free.
Some Like it Sweet: Sugar Kane(a)
Some people have more problems than an arithmetic book.
Some people, you can read like a book, and some are not so easily shut up.
Songs For Children: Barbara Blacksheep*
Songs from 'South Pacific': Sam and Janet Evening
Southern California Waffles: Sandy Eggo*
Spear of Destiny? How about Javelin the Pocketbook?
Split Personalities: Jacqueline Hyde*
Standard British bird, the gannet... it's in all the books!
Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee*
Stealing taglines, eh?  Book him for "Grand Theft Motto."
Stiff Joints,  by Arthur I. Diss,  illustrations by Ben Gay
Still Looking For My Heart: Sam Francisco*
Stop Arguing: Xavier Breath
String Instruments: Viola Player
The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap*
The Telltale Heart: Stefi Scope
The thinnest book? Lawyers that don't care about money.
The thinnest book? Successful Foriegn policy enacted by Democrats.
The thinnest book? The Concordance of Efficient Goverments.
The thinnest book? The Republican book of good natured humor.
The Tigers Revenge by Claude Balls
The Truancy Problem: Marcus Absent*
The TV News Anchorman:  Maury Ports
The Twelfth Month:     Dee Sember
The Unknown Rodent: A. Nonny Mouse
The world is coming to an end! Repent & return those library books.
The Yellow River by I.P. Freely
THEFT AMONG ARTHROPODS: THE LIEUTENANTS(l)
Theft and Robbery:                 Andy Tover(4)
There are no errors in this book, except this one.
They don't print any dirty books in Braille! --Tom Sullivan.
Things to Cook Meat In:            Stu Potts
Things To Do At Parties: Bob Frapples*
THIS BOOK IS SO PROFOUND it bores me to death.
This book taught me how to level a town with a fireball.
This isn't one of those kissing books, is it Grandpa?
This reality is pretty crook. I think I'll dive into my book again.
Those Funny Dogs: Joe Kur
Three Months In The Saddle :   by Major Assburn
Tinseltown Tales: Holly Wood
To be Honest: Frank Lee(a)
To Serve Man- at better booksellers.
To: TINKERBELLMortician" - by Phil Degraves
Took the mage's brain?!!  Stupid orcs, just get the spellbook!
Trails in the Sand by Peter Dragon
Travel among books is the best travel of all.
Trilogy (n). Series of three books, sometimes more.
Trim Those Sideburns Too?: Buzz Cutt*
TSR's last book: Player's Guide to kill bad DMs!
Tug of War: Paul Hard
TURKISH MINERALS: ASA MINER(l)
Turtle Racing:    Eubie Quick
TV's Famous Last Words: Book him Dano.
Twenty Yards to the Out-House, by Willy Make-it illustrated by Betty Wont.
Two Amigas?? You have Bookends, very nice.
Two Thousand Pounds!:  Juan Ton
Tyrant of the Potatoes: Dick Tater
Ultimate justification of mankind's existence: Books!
Unauthorized damage of regulation book is strictly against regulations.
Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts
Under the Grandstand,   by Seymour Butts.
Unemployed: Anita Job(b)
Uninteresting Road Signs: Bill Bored
Unsolved Mysteries: N. Igma(5)
Unwanted Babies: Anna Bortion(8)
Unwritten book: "Dash for the Bathroom" by Willie Makitt.
Unwritten Book: Programing The Female Operating System.
Upset the politically correct - read banned books.
Ura Redneck if you own 3 TV's and only 2 books.
URA Redneck if you own more TV's than books.
Ura Redneck if your matchbook doubles as a toothpick.
URA Redneck if your watch band is wider than any book you've read.
URA Redneck if: You own more TV's than books.
Vacation in the billion worlds of a used book store...
VERTIGO: What a tourbook tells you.
Vietnam cookbook: 101 ways to WOK your dog.
Vietnamese Cookbook: 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog!
Volunteer's Guidebook: Linda Hand.
Wait! "Clinton's How to Serve Taxpayers" -- it's a COOKBOOK!
Wake Up!: Sal Ammoniac
Wanna read a good horror novel? Get a history book!
Warning! Warning! Bookstore ahead, hide wallet.
We are all books of blood, when we are opened we are red.
We read to say that we have read:
We Take Credit Cards, But...: Cassius Better(I)
We're All Flakes: Dan Druff*
We've got a lot of books here, its a book shop!
Webster's Words:                   Dick Shunnary(3)
Weekend In Hong Kong: Rick Shaw
West Coast Universities: Stan Ford*
What do you do when you've written more books than you've read?
What do you mean, you're overbooked?
What I Took: Irv Erginity*
What kind of demented recipe book are you using?!
What Makes Airplanes Go: Jeff Fuel*
What you don't know fills every book ever printed.
What you don't know fills nearly every book ever printed.
What's another name for stud book? A male order catalog.
What's For Dinner? :   by Chuck Roast*
What's For Dinner?.                Chuck Roast*
What's the thinnest book in the world? The Irish cookbook.
What's the thinnest book in the world? The Lesbian Book of Humor.
What's Your Invention?:  Pat Tent
Whatchamacallit!: Thingum Bob
When I want to read a book, I write one.  --Benjamin Disraeli
When I want to read a good book, I write one.
When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? -- H.W. Beecher
When the bird and the bird book disagree, believe the bird.
Whenever books are burned, men, also, are burned." -- Heine
Where do you find the time to not read so many books?
Where does it say in the book that we are supposed to have fun?
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
Where to Find Islands: Archie Pelago
Where to Put Your Money: Bill Fold(k)
Where's my book of tasteless jokes...ah, here we go!
Who Killed Cock Robin?: Howard I. Know
Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books.
Who the Dickens wrote "Oliver Twist", anyway?
Whoa! Wrong book.
Why Cars Stop:  M.T. Tank
Willpower, it's the only way to keep ahead of the book bills! :)
Wind In The Maple Trees: Russell Ingleaves*
Wind Instruments: Tom Bone
Winning the Race: Vic Tree
Wish I'd Never Been Born: Rudy Daye*
Without books God is silent.
Without Warning:  Oliver Sudden
World's thinnest book.  Clinton's kept promises.
Would make an excellent illustration in a proctology textbook.
Woulda Been A Great Shortstop: Kent Hitt*
Wouldn't You Know It: Murphy Slaw*
Writing a book is a novel idea...
Yellow River, by I. Peed Freely
Yoko's Robe: Kim Ono*
You actually READ the articles in Playboy??
You are a page short of a book.
You can't book a judge by his cover.
You can't judge a book by its movie.
You can't read men like a book but it's fun browsing the pages.
You can't tell a book by its movie.
You can't throw us into space, we're trying to write a book.
You Drip!: Lee K. Fawcette(b)
You give'em a book and they eat the pages.
You know how it is in the kid's book world:It's just bunny eat bunny.
You know who somebody is. By looking at his books.
You send `em to school...they eat the books.
You toucha my books and I breaka you face.
You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth*
You're a Bundle of Laughs: Vera Funny
You're copying the whole textbook onto you body.
You're Kidding!: Shirley U. Jest
You've run Toolbook and your CPU still works?!
Your book ate your homework, hmm? That's a new one. --Mrs. Wormwood.
Zall's Law: A dirty book is seldom dusty.
