"<pant pant pant> Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhh ohhhh MAN! That was SUPER!"
"Balls" said the Queen "if I had two, I'd be King"
"Brace yerself, Sheila." - Australian foreplay
"Compromise - you get on top, and I'll draw on your butt."
"He broke out into assholes and shit himself to death."
"Honestly, I was just trying to help the pig over the fence".
"I am programmed in multiple pleasuring techniques."  --D\SL
"I don't bite. Well, that's wrong. I do bite."  -K'Ehleyr
"I first had sex on a farm," Geco said sheepishly.
"I hope for your sake you are initiating a mating ritual."
"I need your clothes, your boots, and your tagline!"
"I read Playboy for the articles."  "Yea, right." - Geco
"Is this sodomy?" asked Geco, half in ernest.
"Ladies Wanted!"  ALL Positions. Will train!
"Nice party.  Hey Goober! Try-ya some of them Horse Ovaries."
"Nurse! I said: "SLIP off his SPECtacles!" - Bunny
"OK, cat, go ahead and sniff there, but don't you dare start licYEOW!"
"Oral Delights"   by   Connie Lingus
"Please return flight stewards to upright position."
"Rasta's Pubic Hair Designs" A clean shave, with lots of attention !
"The Ups & Downs of Penis Therapy" by John Wayne Bobbitt
"Woody, I said TUCK the children in bed!" --Mia Farrow
################  I LOVE NASTY WOMEN!!!  ################
(Did I mention I'm good looking?) (Quiet?) (Shy?) (Undersexed?)
(Reading is like) the sex act....done privately, and often in bed.
* Put something exciting between your legs... ME!!! <sigh>
...Computer not a virgin - no himem found...
...hold the chicken between your knees....
...She followed me home.  Can I keep her?
10 of 10 dentists recommend oral sex for their patients who have sex.
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
136,000 battered women? Sheesh, I've been eating them raw !
2.1 TD X Bigomy:One Wife Too Many. Monogamy: Same Idea.
3 types of miniskirts : Mini, Micro, "Don't shave, eh?"
3.5 inch hard is better than 5.25 floppy....
5 o' clock shadow on pussy can give you nose-burn!
6.9 <-- A good thing ruined by a period.
68 <-- You do me and I'll owe you one.
69 is being head over heels in love
7.2 on the Sphincter Scale
9 out of 10  men who tried camels went back to women..
9 out of 10 men who have tried Camels prefer women.
<>>>>>>>>>>>>  BBS NAKED  <<<<<<<<<<<<>
<Whip>  Thank you, Mistress.  May I have another?
A "peeping Tom" is a guy who is too lazy to go to the beach.
A banana, some chocolate syrup, and thou.
A belly button is for the champagne when you take a lover to bed.
A cat in heat has elevated whore moan levels.
A dirty mind is, well, a wonderful thing.
A girlfriend a day keeps the wife away.
A good memory ignores the long skirt.
A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far.
A kiss is an upper persuasion for lower invasion.
A lady is one who only shows her underwear intentionally.
A large pizza, a case of beer, and Maggie to go, please.
A large pizza, a case of Labatt's Blue, & Maggie to go, please.
A lesbian is just another woman trying to do a man's job.
A little honey is good for my health...pick you up at 8?
A little less talk and a lot more action.
A lover teaches a wife all her husband kept hidden from her.
A lover without discretion is no lover at all.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
A mouthful of breath mints and no one to kiss.
A PC takes guesswork out of it. So does a bikini.
A penny for your thoughts...$50.00 to act them out!
A real programmer's girlfriend wears a G$.
A seven day honeymoon makes a hole weak !
A tiskek, A tasket, A condom or a Casket.....
A tisket, a Bobbitt, she hacked it off and lobbed it.
A too-short mini skirt leaves a definitive end in view.
A true gentleman always lets his lady come first.
A Woman is the only animal that blushes ... or needs to.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's:  she changes it more often.
Abandon the search for truth, settle for fantasy...
Accept no sheep imitations.
ADIDAS:  All Day I Dream About Sex.
Adultery: When one man's mate is another man's passion.
Aerorectophobia: The fear of assholes in high places.
After sex? Why more sex, of course!
After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.
AIDS is a virus; John Savage is a punishment from God.
Ain't gonna bump no more, with no big fat woman....
Al Bundy & Homer Simpson "Why Women Dig Us" Next Geraldo!
Alimony : Bounty on the Mutiny.
Alimony: the fee a woman charges for name-dropping
All I need is peace & quiet. Give me a piece, & I'll be quiet!
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power!
All women are beautiful, some are just less beautiful than others.
All women are created equal - just turn a few upside down & find out!
Alt.graphics.gif.naughty.filty.disgusting.wow!
Alzheimer's puts a whole NEW twist on wife swapping.
Am I bothered by obscene thoughts? No, I *enjoy* them!
Amiga Error #2 User reached puberty, unable to continue.
An egg a month, big deal. Men can make millions of sperm each hour!
An order of hot wings, a black rum,  and Maggie to go, please...
And this just in: Fisherman arrested for being a hooker - film at 11.
and you thought you were kinky!
Are they made from Real Girl Guides ?
Are you blonde or drunk?
Are you finger-lickin' good?
Are you going to cum quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?
At the sound of the BEEP, please leave your bust size and hair color.
Aural sex gives me an earie feeling
Autoerotic - making love in an automobile
Bach did it with his organ.
Bad Girl! Come sit on my face, I'm giving you a tongue-lashing!
Bakers do it after they grease it.
Bakers do it but you have to give them flours first.
Bakers knead it daily. (And so do I)
Bald spot? It's a solar panel for a sex machine.
Barbie sat on Pinnocio's nose saying "lie, lie oh lie some more?"
Be good and you'll be lonely.
Bend over & touch your toes & I'll show you where the wild goose goes!
Betty Crocker is Moist and Easy?  Should this be on TV?
Bigamy: too many wives. Monogamy: see Bigamy.
Bigomy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same idea.
Bill Gates honeymoon summed up in one word - "MicroSoft"
Bisexuality doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night...
Blondes wear hoop earrings so they have a place to put their feet.
Blondes wear panties to keep their ancles warm.
Bones! This! Feels! Wonderful!      It's head, Jim.
Bored?  Lick something.  Canine proverb #17
Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
Breakfast tomorrow?  Shall I call you or nudge you?
Bridgette, Queen of the Whip
But she never lost her head, even when she was givin' head.
Camels have wet dreams too. It's just a bumpier road.
Can't give up sex?  Get married and taper off.
Can't I love both her mind -AND- her Hooters ???
Catwoman's pregnant?  Holy rubbers Batman...
CAUTION! Sexually Active Area. Protection must be worn!
Chains Required... Whips optional...
Chastity is curable - if detected early.
Chastity is the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
Chestnuts - a painful and embarrassing condition
Choosey perverts choose GIF
Clothes aren't sexy, women are.
Coitus Interruptus is _not_ a propagation delay..
Company Policy : Either you work hard, or look good in tight jeans.
Condominiums are not effective birth control.
Confucius Say: "Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!"
Copulation: Sex between two consenting police officers
Crude, immoral, vulgar, senseless - but oh, what fun!
Cucumbers never go through mid-life crisis...
Cunnilingus on silk sheets...the lap, lap, lap of luxury
Dancing with wolves ... sleeping with beavers.
Dancing: A vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.
Date homeless women....you can just drop them off!
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
Definition : pr-dict.   adj.  not a virgin.
Definition of Terror: A female Klingon with PMS.
Definition of Trust: Two cannibals having oral sex.
Details, dammit!  I want filthy, disgusting details!
Did someone say panties?!?
Did you hear about the blind prostitute? You have to hand it to her.
Difference between a dog and a fox: About 5 drinks!
Do files get embarrassed when you unZIP them?
Do it once, do it right, and _m_a_y_b_e she'll let you do it again.
Do livestock make better lovers?
Do married women make the best wives?
Do televangelists do more than laypeople?
Do you believe in the hereafter?  Then you know what I'm here after.
Do you know what a virgin dreams of?  I thought not.
Do you wanna come back to my place?
Do you work hard at being a dork or were you born one?
Does your mom know you're reading this filth?
Dogs come when called. *I* need more DIRECT stimulation!
Don't ask me! I've got 2 balls but neither of them are crystal!
Don't get caught with your pants down when the lights come on.
Don't give me that 'kinkier than thou' look!
Don't knock masterbation - it's sex with someone you love.
Don't like my remarks?  Note mistletoe on my shirt-tail.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile.
Drag me, drop me, treat me like an object! *
Drink til she gets cute, stop before you get married...
Error reading sex drive, (A)bort (R)etry (L)ick it
Every women needs 3 men: 1 for sex, 1 for money, and 1 for fun.
Everybody lies about sex.
Exercise before kinky sex . . . be fit to be tied.
Exhibitionists love Windows.
Exotic, erotic and just a little psychotic!
Eyeing little girls with bad intent - Jethro Tull
FAT GIRLS : More bounce per ounce, more fun per ton !
Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity.
File ORG.ASM not found . . . Girlfriend NOT happy . . .
For my next trick, I'll need a blonde volunteer and a condom.
For New Year's, I gave up sex & lying.
Funny, these cookies don't taste anything like Girl Scout
Fuzzy Sex? That sounds interesting... nice and warm...
Geco walks down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
Geco's distraught, he found out his girfriend & boyfriend are bisexual
Geco's girlfriend is so young, she has a Fisher-Price Vibrator
Get your ass back into bed! It'll wait, and -I- won't!"
Gillette Ladies Shavers: I liked the legs so much, I bought the company!
Girl's suck, until you ask them to.
God created woman because He couldn't teach sheep to type...
Good sex means being told, "Stop and I'll kill you!!!"
Gotta find cuter dates...I hate chewing my arm off in the morning.
Graduate (with honors) of the Institute for the Sexually Gifted
GRAPHICS:  Pictures that aren't pornographic; rare on some systems.
Grin when you bare it ... it's the only way.
HALLOWEEN TAGLINE: Gimme all your goodies!
Handcuffs, for a truely binding relationship ...
Have you ever heard a sheep bleat and had romantic thoughts?
Headline: "Explosion At Sperm Bank, Nurses Overcome"
Hefty Condoms....for when you pick up real trash!!
Heimlich maneuver-a sexual technique involving the tongue...
Hello little girl, want some candy?
Hey Maggie, aren't you usually handcuffed to a bed by now?
Hieraco..."That man is the Michelangelo of deviant behavior."
Hitler, Hussein, Geco, if only their father's had worn condoms.
Hole drilled in ladies' room wall; police looking into it..
Hollowpoints - the ultimate in feminine protection.
Honey, get out the whips and chains... company!
Honk if you LOVE obscene gestures.
Hooh-oh-oh-oh-oh!  That feels GO-O-O-OOD!
HORN.CAR not responding. Using FINGER.WAV instead.
How can you tell a happy sperm ?  Egg on its face !
How do you castrate a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin!!
How many licks DOES it take to get to the center?
How many sex-restricted jobs require a penis or a vagina?
I always cry after sex. I think it's all the mace.
I am a colossal pervert, no form of sexual depravity is too low for me.
I am as pure as the driven slush.
I am long past innocence and fast approaching apathy.
I am slowly licking your body all over...
I can type 10% faster in the nude.
I can't beleive that out of 500,000,000 sperm, you were the fastest!
I can't define smut... but I like it when I see it.
I close my eyes for a second and pretend it's me you want.
I could never be a nudist. I always spill hot coffee in my lap.
I dated Betty Crocker.  She was Moist and Easy!
I Don't  Make Love.   I Fuck.  We Can Make Love Later.
I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.
I fear you must blame your own perverse urges.  Picard
I feel great!  And I don't kiss badly either!
I get warm all over when you get close to me.
I got a sweater for Christmas.I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
I got these nude pictures of the SYSO !@#$*$  NO CARRIER
I have something BETTER than chocolate.  Riker
I hear John Bobbit always leaves SMALL tips.....
I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for.
I just want your extra time, and your....KISS!
I knew you in a past life!  You were a dipshit then too.
I know it may not be love but lust can make a relationship work.
I like men with big, ummmm hearts...that's it, HEARTS!!!
I like Triple  A  SEX, (Anything, Anytime, Anywhere!!!)
I like women just like computer code : fast, tight & easy.
I love oral sex. It's the phone bill I hate.
I love sex with blonds, but my wife doesn't appreciate it...
I love you............... Dipped in chocolate!
I must be a sex object. I say Sex? and she objects.
I never met a woman I couldn't drink pretty.
I preferred the dirty version.
I see you're feeling particularly blonde today.
I sleep like a baby...with a breast in my mouth.
I suffer from Cranial Rectal Submission; I know I'm an asshole!
I used to be a terrible flirt.  I'm much better at it now.
I wanna live to be 100, and get shot by a jealous husband.
I want everything; do you have it??
I want the donut with your pubic hairs around it......\_=0=_/
I want to play "mad daddy" and spank Kathleen Turner!
I was a dirty young man - I haven't changed.
I was kicked out of the boy scouts for eating a brownie....!
I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!
I'd give up women if they didn't look so damn good naked ...
I'll be right there and then we'll get into a cuddle.
I'll dangle my participle anywhere I want to!
I'll never understand the opposite sex...I'm having fun trying!
I'll show you mine if you show me yours..I mean your tagline!
I'm #15 - may I inspect your pants?
I'm a Girl Scout - I scout Girls all the time.
I'm a winner; I'm a sinner. Do you want my autograph?
I'm bilingual. I speak English but make love in French ...
I'm broad-minded. I hardly think of anything else.
I'm Broad-Minded; I can hardly think of anything else!
I'm drunk, and right now I'm SO in love with you
I'm going to donate my body to Maggie..(forget science)
I'm just a lonely boy, lonely & blue.You stole my TAG & now I love you
I'm lip-smackin' good!
I'm looking for a computer with a Sex Drive...
I'm not a sexist, but I'm pretty good.
I'm touching the feminine side of myself; it feels pretty good.
I'm try-sexual.  I'll try anything once.
I'm working on anti-viral condoms for diskettes.
I've always felt that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
I've always looked up to girls in mini-skirts..
I've got this funny feeling, that you don't love me anymore.
I've heard of unisex, but I've never had it.
If a Ram is a Ram & an Ass is an Ass, why is a Ram in the Ass a Goose?
If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer.
If bullshit were music, you'd be a brass band.
If everything seems to go right, check your zipper.
If God had wanted us to be permissive, we'd have Ten Suggestions.
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
If I have offended anyone, then the day was not wasted!
If I want any lip from you, I'll scrape it off my zipper!
If it didn't stink, they wouldn't call it shit.
If it has tires or testicles, it's going to be trouble.
If it has tits or tires you're gonna have trouble with it!
If Love is blind, then why is Lingerie so popular?
If love is blind, why is lingere so popular?
If nobody is sore or wet, it wasn't sex!
If only women came with pull down menus and online help.
If sheep could cook, women would be irrelevant.
If something has to go down on me, why does it have to be my computer?
If you can't enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.
If you can't flirt with the SysOp, remember Rasta !!
If you don't think women are explosive, just drop one...
If you fell into a barrel of tits you'd come up sucking your thumb.
If you have a problem with homosexuals, don't have sex with any.
If you look bad naked, wait till you see yourself in long underwear.
If you love someone, cover her in whipped cream.
If you love someone, lick her till she screams.
If you smoke after sex, try a lubricant next time.
If you smoke after sex, your doing it too darn fast.
If you touch me there, I'll give you a cookie...
If you want to waste your hormones growing hair, that's your business!
If you were a butterfly, would you have Cher tattooed on YOUR butt?
Ignorance *is* bliss, but it will never replace sex.
In order to keep the title, a lover must keep loving.
Introducing Tempura Shelters...For Lightly Battered Women
Is a female lawyer without her briefs a solicitor?.
Is it OK for a gynecologist to look up old girlfriends?
Is sex dirty?    Only if it's done right!
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
It ain't over til the fat lady sits on your face.
It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant.
It's all in the wrist action.
It's better to copulate than never.
It's not pretty being easy.
It's not who you sleep with, it's who keeps you up!
Its been so long since I had SEX, I can't remember who gets tied up !
Its not a BALD SPOT, Its a SOLAR PANEL for a SEX MACHINE !
Its not the size of ship, but its the \c4motion in the ocean!
Its not the women in my life that count...its the life in my women.
JELLO WRESTLING...the best food fight there is!
Jet engine: Suck, squeeze, bang, blow. Sound familiar?
Just lie back and enjoy it.
KEPT WOMAN : A woman who wears mink all day and fox all night.
Kinky is a feather, perverted is the whole chicken
Knock firm but softly. I like soft, firm knockers.
Kotex is not the best thing in the world, but next to it.
Ladies Golf Lessons - By Rasta Palmer, Bedroom Golf Champ
Last night, our sex was so good the neighbors lit cigarettes.
Lawyers & hookers: Both hired to get their clients off.
Le'see..I wanna MODEM,'nd a RAM DISK,'nd KATHLEEN TURNER!
Learn to love me  -  'cause I AIN'T leavin' !!!
Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing...
Let's Play Carnival - You sit on my face, I'll guess your weight.
Lick, lick, lick.....Still going....Nothing stops a bunny!
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
Lingerie is to women what giftwrap is to Christmas presents!
Looking for LOVE, But settle for SEX !
Lord give me chastity--she's cute.
Lorena Bobbitt virus: Turns your 5.25" hard disk into a 3.5" floppy.
Love & scandal are coffee's best sweeteners.
Love comes calling in the middle of the night.
Love is blind.  Lust has 20/20 vision.
Love is man's illusion, that one woman differs from another...
Love thy neighbor -- but only when her spouse is out of town.
Love thy neighbour, but keep the hedge intact.
Mail junkie and offline reader slut.
Make believe I'm an ice cream cone...
Make your wife angry during sex: Call her up.
Man is the only animal that blushes.....or needs to !!
Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
Man with athletic fingers make broad jump.
Marriage is the rest period between romances.
Marriage?  No thanks.  I can't mate in captivity.
Mary had a little lamb.  The doctor was surprised.
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
Masochist: "Whip me!".... Sadist: "No!"
MASTERBATION : The human version of AUTOEXEC.BAT
Mating Call Of The Mail Duck:  QWK! QWK! QWK!
May we kiss those we please, and please those we kiss.
Me lucky? I had a wet dream and woke up with VD.
MEN give LOVE to get SEX. WOMEN give SEX to get LOVE.
Midwife.................. Second wife in three marriages.
Miniskirt types : Mini, Micro, Don't bend over, NICE VIEW !
MIXED EMOTIONS: When your kid gets an "A" is sex class.
Modem sex begins with a handshake.
Monogamous and monotonous are synonymous.
Mount your horses, men!  -We're not that lonely, sir!
Mr. Spock wears vulcanized rubbers.
Murphy's Law of Sex:  Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
My girlfriend gives good headache...
My mind isn't always in the gutter--sometimes it comes out to feed.
My wife said she was going to the gym, or was that to Jim?
Necrophilia means never having to say...well, anything...
Never accept chocolates from a proctologist.
New Gay Sitcom.  "Leave it, it's Beaver."
Next time you wave, use ALL of your fingers!!
Next week, Geco, we explore the wonders of sex.  Bring your sister!
Nitrate........... Different than the day rate.
No sex life?  There's always computers...
No such thing as PMS. It's just tight shoes.
No-Name Rubbers...  For anonymous sex.
no...No...NO Geco....I said  *pluck*  the Turkey!!!!.
Not all Blondes are dumb.  But then who ever checks.
Not hungry, not homeless.  Will work for sex.
Not tonight dear, I have a modem.
Nothing can vex like the opposite sex !
Now, Here's John Bobbitt with a few words about Crazy Glue.
Obscenity is the crutch of the inarticulate m*****f*****.
Of all my relations, I like sex the best.
Of course I have a dirty mind...I ran out of soap!.
Oh Tasha, See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me!
Oh, Oh, ... Your Zip File Is Open!
Oh, save your breath for your inflatable date!
Only dangerous sex will do....
Only well reared girls should wear slacks.
Ooohh, don't stop - you're making me firm!
Oral sex is a matter of taste.
Out of 500,000,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
Oversexed people are just more prone...    RASQWK*
Penis: A fibrous muscle often found in women..
Pentiums & wives: wrong, but keep ya warm nights
Pepsi hired Lorena Bobbitt as the new "SLICE" spokesperson.
Phone sex is fun, but it leaves button marks on your butt
PKunzip complete, now starting PKBLOW!
PKunzip complete, now starting PKLICK!
PLAYBOY..one who shortens the day by lengthening his night.
Pornography? I don't even own a pornograph!
Practice random hickies and senseless acts of biting
Pregnancy - a woman a swelled up over her work
Premature ejaculator....a troubled shooter
Pretend to spank me - I'm a psuedo- masochist!
Printers do it without wrinkling the sheets.
Public Restroom-The only place a flush beats a full house
Put your clothes back on @FN@ , it's time to go home.
Rasta just want to live in peace...get a piece...lots
RASTA SERVICES: Virgins Converted, Orgies Organize, Uprisings Quelled!
Rasta's Lick-A-Chick Moustache Rides - $ 10.00 a crack!
Real women do not deflate when you bite them.
Real Women don't get hot flashes...they get POWER SURGES.
Remember when sex was safe and jumping off bridges was deadly?
Remember when snortin crack had nothing to do with drugs?
Right Said Dax:  I'm too sexy for my host.
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again.
Room service? I need cherries, whipped cream and a rope.
Roses are red, violets are blue. The dog is pregnant, thanks to you.
See Jane. See Spot. See Jane and Spot. OOOOOH..!
Semen - a term for sailors.
Sex and Drugs and Rock and Role-Playing!
Sex at my age is like shooting pool with a rope.. - Bard
Sex discriminates against the shy and ugly.
Sex is better than logic. You can't prove it, but it is.
Sex is better than reading; no overdue fines.
Sex is like a credit card, once you withdraw, you lose interest.
Sex is nobody's business but the three involved. Oh! and the cameraman.
Sex is nobody's business but the three people involved!
Sex is nobody's business except the people involved, and their agent.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Sex isn't everything. But its right up there with oxygen!
Sex relieves tension, Love makes tension.
Sex with Love: Feeds a hungry mind & satisfies the soul.
Sex, lies, drugs. Sounds like a typical teenager to me!
SEX, the breakfast of champions !
Sex:  Male ( )  Female ( )  Not Enough (X)
Sexual harassment will not be reported, it will be GRADED!
Sexy women are nature's way of saying - Keep it up!
Shall I sing you to sleep, after the lovin'?
Shareware? Reminds me of a girl in my high school.
She don't eat meat, but she sho' like the bone...
She followed me home.  Can I keep her?
She said she hasn't had a bite in two days. So I bit her!
She was only a moonshiner's daughter & I love her still.
She's got his whole gland in her hand.
Sign outside brothel:  On vacation. Beat it.
Silly rabbit. Tricks are for hookers !
Since it is Testosterone that kills hair folicles is being bald macho?
Sleep well and dream of large women.
Smile if you are wearing sexy underwear.
Smile.  It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Some mornings, sex is almost better than coffee.
Sorry, "Virgins 'R Us" is closed due to lack of personnel..
Sorry, I didn't hear you.  I was staring at your breasts.
Sorry, my mind was on edible panties today.
Spankings. They're not just for birthdays anymore.
Spice up your love life....kiss a Klingon today!
Squeeeeeeel like a pig boyeee Squeeeeel!! Loudah! Loudah!
Standards are wonderful! There are so MANY to choose from!
Sticks & stones may break my bones but whips & chains excite me.
Super-sado-masochistic-sex-is-not-atrocious!
Sweet dreams are made of me...
Tape, staples, stitches, glue: John Bobbitt's shopping list.
That was a filthy crack. Speaking of filthy cracks, how's your mother?
That was tasteless, vulger and discusting...got any more???
The Liquidator...liquidates with his tongue.
The male body needs sex at all times ... it's a living hell.
The Sex Maniacs Guide  - by Rippernickerszov
There's a blonde pubic hair in my Coffee.  Is it yours?
There's a blonde pubic hair in my Coke.  Is it yours?
There's a red pubic hair in my Coke.  Is it yours?
There's a striking difference between Bondage & Discipline
There's one behind every Zipper!
Thirty minutes of begging is not considered foreplay.
This morning I distinctly heard "Snap, crackle, f*ck you."
Three Stages of Sex > Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly, Try Weakly
Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!
To all virgins.  Thanks for nothing!
To make your dream come true, you have to stay awake.
Transvestite: A man who wants to eat, drink and be Mary.
Trojan: Storage device for replicating codes.
Under all these clothes, I'm completely Naked.
Unzip, expand, explode...what pervert came up with this?
Up with dresses!  Down with pants!
Vasectomy: Sunkist Operation-all juice, no seeds!
Victoria's Secret is that she likes to dress like a slut. Oh Boy!
Virginity is curable if detected early
Vulgarity: The conduct of others.
Wanna play cops and robbers?  Great!  SPREAD 'EM!
Want permanent birth control? Call 1-900-Bobbitt.
WANTED: Used secretary in good condition.
Wanted: Women To Test New Condom!
WARNING! SAFESEX.ZIP is a Trojan.
We are in the Music Section, save your fantasies for Unmitigated Sex !
We are in the War Board, save your fantasies for Unmitigated Sex
What if they gave an orgy and no one came?
What is the point of a fantasy...if it never becomes reality?
Whats the most popular form of birth control? The Headache!
When asked, How many wives I've had, I said, Mine or other men's?
Where there's a whip there's a way.
Whips required...  Chains optional...
Why is brassire singular and panties plural?
Why would I want to look at the Docs. Nurses are better!
Will work for kinky sex. (but not with you)
WOMEN fake orgasms - MEN fake foreplay !
Would a virgin be called a notyeterosexual?
Would you like me better if I were tied down?
Would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during mating?
Wrestle you bare-naked for a dollar!
Yes, I do talk to my wife after sex - if she phones.
You can prick your finger, but never finger your prick.
You can't cut me off, you don't know where I'm getting it from!
You can't read a girl like a book but it's fun browsing the pages.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
You're into sexual tag lines, aren't you?
You're right.  I'm ashamed.  Spank me.
You're sick and disgusting, I like that in a person!!
You're the reason my dog is pregnant, aren't you?!
You're twisted and sick; I like that in a person!
You're twisted, perverted, & sick. I like that in a person!
You're twisted, perverted, & sick. I like that!
Your kisses leave something to be desired--the rest of you.
Your life is meaningless, until you've made it with a sheep.
Zmodem has bigger bits, softer blocks, and tighter ASCII
ZModem.... Big BITS, Nice BAUD, Tight ASCII.
ôy! Ƶr's ո pbC ̹ոr \ \/y Co<!!
  A condom chorus line"
