Two men walking through a field:
1st man: I like the colour of that cow over there.
2nd man: Yes, it's a Jersey.
1st man: Really? I thought it was it's skin.

I went Bob sleighing the other week.
I killed 20 bobs.

Q. How many Intel technicians does it take to change a lighbulb?
A. 1.93474659787463756944939362829292769292359970707040936253482

I was stung by a bee the other day.
He charged me £10 for a jar of honey.

A wall to wall carpet salesman came to the door the other day.
I asked him in but he was too wide to fit through the door.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep telling lies.
Doctor:  I don't believe you.

Q. What do you call an army bread ration?
A. A combat roll