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- Andrea. Sultry temptress, born in India circa 1784. Her hobbies include roasting the living entrails of freelancers who don't hand their copy in on time.
- Nick. Indifferent scholar, born on the auld sod. His ambition is to drink.
- Cathy. 70's superstar, not really born yet. Can be found wandering around stonehenge at solstice.
- Linda. Athletic miracle, born in a caravan at Pant 'Y Girdle. Can be considered the master of seventeen martial arts including Origami.
- Andy. Should be in this photo but didn't appear once the film had been developed.
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