"Facts are stupid things" - R  Reagan.
"Look at all the Indians!" - G  Custer.
Contentsof tagline maysettleduring shipping.
98% of all statistics are useless.
A contradiction in terms: Military Intelligence.
A contradiction in terms: User Friendly.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.
Adult GIF files are meant for testing monitors!
Aha! another "undocumented feature!"
And remember kids, DON'T try this at home!
Antidisestablishmentarianism
Anybody who'd run a COMMs program is a COMMIE
Aspirins give me a headache.
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Better know nothing than half-know many things.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Born Free, Taxed to Death!!
C Error #003: You're joking, right?
C Error #007: Irrational concept!
C Error #008: It'll never work, really!
C Error #009: FATAL! Portable code found
C Error #011: First C Program, huh?
C Error #012: printf("Hello world\n");
C Error #013: That's Mr. C to you bub!
C Error #022: Missing period eh? Core dump
C Error #026: Sorry, gone fishing
C Error #029: Well! I'm impressed
C Error #031: May I suggest delivering pizza?
C++ should have been called D.
Call The Bates Motel BBS: 1-800-BIG-NIFE
Can you fill us in more on this, Lt. Data?
Did your dog *really* eat your homework?
DREAM: Just testing my brain!! zzzzzzzzzz
Failed as a proof-reader for M & M's
Famous last words: "Don't worry, I can handle it"
For adult education, nothing beats children.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Have an Electrician Check Your Shorts.
He's dead Jim.  Grab his wallet!
I am free of prejudices.  I hate everyone equally.
I am going to live forever, or die trying!
I got a computer for my girlfriend - GOOD TRADE.
I object to all this sex on the television.  I keep falling off.
I SUPPORT FREE Speech! Only, IF you agree with me.
I think, therefore I am......I think?
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
IBM stands for Inferior But Marketable.
Lie: The program is bug free.
Life is one big approximation
Multitasking: Hanging up more than one program.
My other computer is a HAL 9000!
My wife dresses to kill.  She cooks the same way.
Not a bug - an undocumented feature!!
Not ready, error reading user's mind.
OK!!   I Failed as proof-reader for M & M's
OS/2   half an operating system!
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Reality is not for me and it makes me laugh.
Schitzophrenic? Us?
Solution: A more subtle problem.
The name is Bond - James Bond
The Sky Is Falling, Shut Up! The Ground is Flying!
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you get to catch up.
To Boldly Probe Where No Man Has Probed Before!!!
Today is tomorrow's yesterday.
What we need is Scratch N Sniff taglines!
You're Never Alone With Schizophrenia.
Your punishment, Barbarella, is Tom Heydan!
"All life's answers are on TV"
 Homer Simpson.
"All's well that ends well"
 E A Poe.
"ASCII and you shall receive"
 Z Modem.
"Facts are stupid things" 
 R. Reagan.
"Hello World!"  17 Errors, 31 Warnings...
"Hey, what's this button d..<BOOM>"
 Wesley Crusher.
"Look at all the indians!" 
 G. Custer.
"People are idiots" 
 Frank Zappa.
"Teachers have class" 
 Anon.
"The only GOOD user is a DEAD user!" 
 Microsoft Support Desk.
"When I hear the word 'culture', I reach for my gun" 
 Hans Johst.
"Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again" 
 L Long.
'Cause It's A Mystery!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (B)low the damn thing up?
*FOR SALE*  Tagline - Unwanted Gift - Still Boxed.
*Nothing* is random...  The future is KNOW!
--== IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE ==--
.ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
.lamron eb yhW
1200 bps used to seem so fast.
2+2=4 (for the time being).
6 x 9 = 42 base 13
98% of all statistics are useless.
<< Registration number coming soon! >>
<<-- WARNING! Do NOT push this button!
<tap> <tap> <tap>  Is this thing on?
<This tagline is fitted with Tag-o-warn security device, don't steal!>
<tick><tick>  Go ahead.  <tick><tick>  Steal me.  <tick><tick>
A Barefoot Dancer On Broken Glass.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
A clean disk is the sign of a sick computer
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A computer a day...
A confident manner is important, computers can sense this!
A contradiction in terms: >>User Friendly<<
A day without sunshine is like night.
A dead pitbull is a good pitbull.
A dewdrop can exalt us like the music of the sun.
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
A feature is a bug with seniority.
A friend in need is a friend to avoid.
A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A girl a day keeps the wife away.
A hard disk is a terrible thing to waste.
A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far.
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
A little a'disk & a little a'dat.
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
A little LAN will do it!
A little red button awaits to be pushed!
A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.
A man of few words.  Lets, willya, lemme.
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A mind is a terrible thing to... err... Hmmm?
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor.
A Paradox May be Paradoctored.
A pennie earned is Cheap labour.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A point of view is a matter of perspective.
A programmer's work is never done <Sigh>
A QWK a day means you're offline!
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
A tagline is a terrible thing to waste.
A Woman a day keeps the Wife away.
A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progrmer now I are won.
ABORT, RETRY, GAG?
Abstinence should be practiced with modulation.
Accidents happen! Wear your seat belt!
Acid rain dissolves styrofoam.
Actions speak louder than coaches.
Adult GIF files are meant for testing monitors!
Advice is usually worth what it cost.
After dinner, he said, "Your modem or mine?".
Age can be beautifull as long as it works!
Agreement: The basis of reality and culture.
Ah shucks it works - darn it!
Ah, Come on Let's Let um Do It.
Aha! another "undocumented feature"!
Ahh - a desq with a view!
Ahhhhhhhh, I forget what I was going to say.
Ai Mate, Capt'n J.P. Jones Here!
AI programmers only think they do it.
Ain't Automation Great!
All complete in the sight and seed of life with you.
All generalizations are false.
All Good Things Come In Numbers . . .
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All in a days work for "Confuse-a-Cat"
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
All things are difficult before they are easy.
All those updates, and still imperfect!
All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Alone at last!
Always remember to pillage _before_ you burn.
Always remember: look before you leap!
Alzheimers advantage: Hide own Easter eggs.
Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
Am I hallucinating or something??
An "expert" is anyone from out of town.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
An expert is someone from out of town.
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
An optimist is a guy without much experience.
An xplaination...
Anarchy is against the law.
And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
And he wore a hat and he had a job and he brought home the bacon.
And how do you spell RELIEF, *Smith*&*Wesson*
And I'll show you the prints of Wales.
And now for something completely different.
And remember kids, DON'T try this at home!
And so it goes...
And the seven trumpets blew sweet rock and roll.
And they said it couldn't be done.
And what else floats?
And you thought BATS were just for Baseball!
Announcing the SHOGSORPOP! Send $15.95 to...
Another brilliant mind ruined by JH.
Another empty space.
Antidisestablishmentarianism!
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
Anybody who'd run a COMM program is a COMMIE.
Anyone able to feel pain is trainable.
Anyone got a good TAGLINE for me?
Anyone wanna buy some used Malathion?
Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Anything is edible if it's chopped finely enough.
Are those your ears or you wearing headphones!?!
Are we having fun yet?
Are we there yet Papa Smurf?
Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE about this *.*?
Are you SURE it's plugged in?
As easy as 3.14159265378979323846264338327950288419716
As King Arthur said: Some days it all seems so feudal.
As the Iron Curtain rusts...
Aspirins give me a headache.
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
At least egotists don't talk about other people
Attention! Modem addict on the lOOse.
Avoid Computer virus - practice safe HEX!
Avoid the Fortran arithmetic IF.
Back to taxation without representation.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Baseball has been bery bery gooood to me.
Battle of wits? But you have no ammunition.
BBS Hall of Fame nominee.
BBSing is a Maalox Moment.
Be a good consumer; ask, complain, choose!
Be different DON'T speak your mind!
Be sure to practice safe hex, Use an Eraser
Beam Me Up Scotty... *S-C-O-T-T-Y*!
Beam me up, there's no intelligent life here!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone.
Been a long time since I rock an' rolled
Beer cans empty! Memory Full! Zzzzzzzzzz!
BEER.KEG empty! OVERFLOW ERROR DETECTED! Bleeeeak!
Before you see the light, you must die.
Behind every great man is an amazed mother-in-law.
Ben Franklin wasn't the ONLY one lightning got
Bernard Matthews' bank account: It's Bootyful!
Better is the enemy of good enough.
Better know nothing than half-know many things.
Better or worse, but never the same.
BEWARE  -  Tagline Thief in this echo!
Beware of attacking SPEED HUMPS!
Beware of Modem Addiction! It's contagious!
Beware of programmers that glow in the dark.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the Troll!
Beware the psychopomp.
Beware, the end is... urgh
Bigamy: One wife too many.  Monogamy: See Bigamy.
Bikes Not Bombs.
Biochemists Wear Designer GreenGenes.
Bits, Bytes, Bauds... Can't live With, or Without!
Black Holes are where God divided by zero.
Blessed are the pessimists; they make backups!
Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
Blood is thicker than water, and much tastier.
Blow it out your I/O port.
BOING! Dolly Parton - silicone based life.
BOING! RIME--America's Funniest Home Computers
BOING! Tag! You're It...
BOING! There are too many people in the world.
Boingggg, Time for bed said Florence.
Borland schmorland.
Born Free, Taxed to Death !
Born in 1945.  The replacement for WW II.
Brain in gear before mouth in motion.
Brandy-and-water spoils two good things
Briefniks of the world, Unite!
Bring back DICK..At least we KNEW he was crooked!
Bring order to your life, use random numbers.
Britannia waives the rules.
Broken Hearts repaired while you Sleep!
Bugs Bunny is a Hare Brain.
Bugs Bunny works for the KGB.
Bugs in the teeth.
Bugs, like coat hangers, breed if unobserved.
Bugs, What BBBuuugggsss?
Burma Shave.
Burnin' down the house...
But God TOLD me to use a GOTO.
But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car
But I DID read the manual...
But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
Buy in haste, repair at leisure.
BUY IT AND FRY IT!
By George I think she's got it!
C Error #003: You're joking... right?
C Error #007: Irrational concept!
C Error #008: It'll never work, really!
C Error #009: FATAL! Portable code found
C Error #011: First C Program, huh?
C Error #012: printf("Hello world\n");
C Error #013: That's Mr. C to you bub!
C Error #022: Missing period eh? Core dump...
C Error #026: Sorry, gone fishing...
C Error #029: Well! I'm impressed
C Error #030: tisk, tisk, tisk.
C Error #031: May I suggest delivering pizza?
C'ing More and More Each Day!
C'mon, Punk... Reductio my Absurdum
C++ should have been called D.
Cache me if you can.
California Saga...
Call me Ishmael.  I won't ANSWER, but...
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
Call The Bates Motel BBS: 1-800-BIG-NIFE
Calm down.  It's only ones and zeros.
Can you fill us in more on this, Lt. Data?
Can't Win, Can't Break Even, Can't Quit.
Can't you see a belt without hitting below it?
Candy is Dandy, but sex won't rot your Teeth!
Careful! Don't step in that... Oh, never mind.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Carson's Law: It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
Catch a wave!
Cats are easier to train than kids!
CATS ARE IT!
Caution: Contents under pressure!
Caution: High Pressure! Contents are PKZIPED!
CAUTION: I brake for Bauds (If I see 'em)
Caution: This stuff is addictive...
CGA is the pallete from hell.
Changing gears, here.
Cheer up - things will get worse.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Cheese can be your friend.
Cheese Une Crackers! This TagLine is Crummy.
Chickens are how eggs make more eggs.
Choosy hackers choose .GIF!
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
Cockroaches rule the Earth. Pass it on.
Coffee doesnt cause cancer, water does!
ColdBoots R Us.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
College Students Do It With Class.
Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
Communication: The Universal Solvent.
Competition makes great programs!
COMPLAINTS >NIL:
Complaints? Write them here legibly [] <-
Computer operators KNOW how to operate!
Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
Computers are gre...
Computers are Saving Man??? Does not Compute.
Computers just make me seem smarter!
Computers operators do it from memory.
Computious Say Ain't Life A Byte.
Confront reality -- Not drugs.
Confused? Consult your OOP Guide.
Confusion not only reigns, it pours. 
Constant change is here to stay.
Constants aren't, variables don't.
Cool Dude!
Cosmic Soda-pop.
Cowa Bunga, Dude...
Cowabunga, I'll take the Marshmallow pizza.
Creativity is a Spark of Life!
Creditors have much better memories than debitors.
Cross-referencing your code is screaming "Jesus Christ!" as it crashes.
Crown Prince of the Crown Royal.
Cryonics: many are culled, few are frozen!
Custer was fitted for an Arrow shirt.
Cute and definitely hugable... right!
Daddy, what does "NOW FORMATTING DRIVE C:" mean?
Dame if you will, and dame if you don't.
Dan Quayle for Starship Yamato Engineer.
Dan Quayle... just a heartbeat away!
Dangerous exercise: jumping to conclusions.
Darn, I'm at the end of my tagline list!
Darn, my CPU is always craming my CMOS with RAMs
Deadlines amuse me.
Dear Abby: What diet is best for my FAT file?
Dear FAT, don't eat so many BYTES.
Death don't have no mercy in this land!
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
Decadent Capitalist and proud of it!
Define Disaster: Life without mail.
Define Life: New Mail.
Definition: Array - A blast from a CRT.
Definition: Crash - Normal termination of computer activity.
Definition: Death - Nature telling you to slow down.
Definition: Keyboard - A device for entering errors into a computer.
Definition: RAM - Rarely Adequate Memory.
Deny thy father and forget thy tagline.
Desperate diseases require desperate remedies
Desqview!?! I can't even see the floor!
Dew knot trussed yore spell checquer two fined awl mistakes.
Did I just step on someones toes again?
Did they get you to trade your heros for ghosts?
Did you check the...? No, I didn't think so.
Did you really understand that message 
Did your dog *really* eat your homework?
Digital communications, it makes my digit hurt.
Direct from the Ministry of Silly Walks.
Direct from the Ministry of Willie Wanka.
Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap...
Dis Tag Stole From Da Gotfather's on Stash.
Disk Error - Press ANY Boot To ReLace.
Diskette Organizer? What's that?
Disney girls and fantasy world...
DISREGARD LAST MESSAGE!
Do *you* know what Otto Titzling invented?
Do artificial plants need artificial light?
Do not attempt to traverse a chasm in two leaps
Do not forward this message.
Do not remove this tag under penalty of law.
Do not remove this tag!
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do you know WHERE your software IS today?
Do you like me for may Brains or my Baud?
Do you steal taglines too?
Do you think binary? 0 or 1?
Doc files-We dont need no stinkin'.doc files.
Docs? What docs? I don't remember seeing any docs!
Documentation is for people who can't read.
Does anyone _really_ read these stupid taglines?
Does electrons flow? or walk?
Does Pi make sense to you?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Does this work?
Dogs come when called, cats have answering machines!
Doin' the TAGLINE STRIP !
Don't "push."  "Re-engineer" it instead. :-)
Don't ask me, I just work here.
Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
Don't be so humble. You're not that great.
Don't blame me, it's San Andreas fault.
Don't blame me... I didn't do it!
Don't care, don't have to, we're the Phone Co.!
Don't confuse me with facts.
Don't count your chickens if you haven't got any! 
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
Don't drink and write taglines.
Don't eat meadow muffins.
Don't erase it! I MIGHT need it, someday.
Don't force it, use a BIGGER hammer!
Don't judge a book by its movie
Don't just sit there.  Do something.
Don't look at me! I'm A Generic Tagline.
Don't make 'em like they used to, thank God.
Don't mind me, I'm just passing through.
Don't Point That At Me!
Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't worry, be happ...aw, who gives a darn.
Don't worry, I'm fluent in wierdo.
Don't worry, send money!
Don't you dare touch that "ignore" button!
Don't you just LOVE these little machines??
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename".
DOSSHELL? Of course DOS is hell.
Dot matrix, a run-a-way paper puncher.
DREAM: If it's worth doing, it's worth doing.
DREAM: Just testing my brain! zzzzzzzzzz
Dreams are true while they last.
Drop your carrier...  We have you surrounded!
DSZ DOCUMENTATION Is An Oxymoron.
Ducking Quickly behind MarkMail Door...
Dumb luck beats sound planning every time.
Dumb questions are better than smart mistakes!
Efficency == (Speed * Size * $) Cubed
Eight out of five schizophrenics agree.
Einstein rules relatively OK.
Electricians are live wires!
Elephants seldom get lost.
Elvis is ALIVE in the Hearts of Millions!
Emily, I dreamed I ran an inn in Vermont...
emit elttil os ,segassem ynam oS
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Enquiring minds want to know.
Error finding COLDBEER.CAN User not loaded!
Error in REALITY.SYS down, run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?
ERROR LPT1 not found.  Use backup, PENCIL & PAPER.
Even small candles are brighter in the dark.
Ever eat your words? Some parts are edible.
Ever notice that Legos aren't biodegradable ?
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every DESQ with a view!
Every sun has a golden lining.
Every thread needs a needle.
Every time I lose weight, it finds me again.
Everybody lies about bad sex! Robert A. Hienlein.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is entitled to my own opinion
Everyone Out for Volleyball in 10 Minutes!
Everyone wants to be noticed, but no one wants to be watched.
Everything is relative, including this
Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
EXCESS is the key to enjoying life!
Excuse me miss, is this tagline taken?
Experience is finding mistakes you make again
Experience is what you got when you didn't get what you wanted.
Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice!
Eye of gnat, tail of cat, where's that dam bug at?
EZ, I'd rather fight than switch!
EZ-reader on day off... the joys of June
Fact.  Stranger than any science fiction.
Familiarity breeds contempt- and children.
Famous last words: "Don't worry, I can handle it".
Faster than a speeding Spermatozoon!
Fatal error using mouse.  Please bury/replace.
FATHERS ARE IMPORTANT PARENTS, TOO!
Feats don't fail me now...
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Feel free to publish this TagLine. It's Stolen.
Feel lucky? Update your software!
Few children fear water unless soap's added.
Fight the Greenhouse Effect: PLANT TREES!
Fight War Not Wars!
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Fire all the guns at once and explode into space...
First shalt thou pull out the Holy Pin.
First, we'll kill all the programmers!
Floggings will continue til morale improves
Floppy not responding, Format HARD DRIVE instead? [Y/N]?
Foat Wuth... I Luv Yew!
Fools rush in where fools have been before.
For adult education, nothing beats children.
For any complex problem there is an answer which is simple.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For some Reason, reality is an illusion.
For some, reality is an illusion.
For What It's Worth.
FORD: Fixed Or Repaired Daily. [grin]
Forgive me father for I have syned.
Fort Worth... Where the West Begins!
Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give a Damn.
Freddy Kruger lives in your CPU Stack... Nightie
Freedom is Expensive, but worth it!
Freedom is something we take for granted.
Freedom of information is a right, not a privilege.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Friends come and go, enemies agglomerate.
Friends don't let friends pay retail.
Friends warm the world with Happiness.
Frivolity Here We Come...
From Disk and all of the little Diskettes.
Funny HA HA, or funny peculiar?
Further, higher, faster, onward, upward...
Game Blaster is NOT Adlib compatible.
Gather your moss before you roll stones.
General failure error! (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic ?
Generic Industry Standard Tagline.
Genius is the power of lighting one's own fire.
Gentlemen... Start your debuggers.
George Bush - the EDLIN of Presidents !
Get a USR It leaves the others behind.
Get everyone's attention... Make a mistake!
Give me water, and I'll burn it up.
Give up, you'll only live til you die.
Go FORTH and multiply!
God heals, and the doctors take the fee.
GolleeeEE, Sergeant Carter!
Good Tags never die, They just get Sniped.
Goooooooooood morning, Fidonet!
Got Kleptomania? Take something for it!
Government for one, to hell with majority!
Grandma got run over by a reindeer...
Grant me the strength to ignore ignorance.
Grass is nature's way of saying "High!"
Gravity is a myth.  The Earth sucks.
Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law.
Greed is envy with its sleeves rolled up.
Greed is the Waltons having another child.
Gun Control-- Being able to hit the Target!
Half truths are also big lies!
Halitosis is better than no breath at all.
Hane's Law: There is no limit to how bad things can get.
Happiness is a hermit that lives on a hill.
Happiness is a warm boot.
Happy nodes to you... Till we echo again.
Happyness is Killing Orcs.
Harbour of the morning, burns the ship of dawning.
Hard Drive backup??? Who me???
Hare Krishna Hare 4DOS.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Have a nice day? When I'm damned well ready!
Have an Electrician Check Your Shorts.
Have you counted your Legos lately?
Have you ever danced with the devil?
Have you hugged your computer lately?
Have you hugged your modem today?
Have You Hugged Your Sysop Today?
Have You Snaged Your SYSOPS Tag Today, Then Snipit.
He ain't heavy; he's a Shareware Author.
He doesn't work, but he's pretty ugly.
He has more crust than a pie factory.
He married me for my tag lines.
He nust have made a macro of my signature
He speaks to the river of lost love and dedication.
He who hesitates is trampled by the mob.
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
He who lives by the sword laughs last.
He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a fool.
He who walks in anothers track leaves no footprint.
He's dead Jim.  You grab his tricorder.  I'll get his wallet.
He's dead Jim... Grab his wallet!
He's got Blue Wave fever and it's spreading through the message bases!
He's twelve cookies short of a dozen...
Heck no I ain't broke, Just badly bent.
Heh! I'll get you and your little dog, too!
Heisenberg might have been here
Hell, what day is it?
Hello sailor.
Hello World !
Help cure dreaded Computer Addiction: Send software.
Help me if you can I'm feelin' dooown...
Help reduce junk mail. Send personal messages.
Help save Taglines.
Help stamp out taglines!
HELP! PaPa Smurf In My CPU Died...
Help! The Smurfs in my HD just went on Strike.
Help..I Need SomeBODY!
Herblock's Law: If it's good, they discontinue it.
Here I am, brain the size of a planet...
Here Tag! C'mon Tag! Good Tag... good boy!
Here we go again.
Here's my hat, lend me your shoe.
Here's my shoe, lend me your hat.
Hey Expert, ..It works better if you plug it in!
Hey you kids, get out of that Jello tree!
HEY! Stop reading me!
Hey!... This is not my dad's TAGLINE!
Higher versions mean more bugs found...
Hind sight is better depending on whose hind.
Hmmmm what's this red buttoƺNO CARRIER
Home of the Pig Stye.
Honest honey, I was at the office!
Honesty is the worst policy.
Honesty: The fear of being caught.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
How do I spell "relief"? E-X-L-A-X.
How do these taglines work again?
How to tune a ukulele: My DOS has fleas.
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How ya going to do it? IBM Blue it!
Hum be doo wap bap boo da doo bop bop bop dop.
Human Error - It's all ***YOUR*** fault.
Humility is no substitue for a good personality!
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Hummmm, I had a tagline when I came in here<gotya>
I 'C' said the blind man.
I *did* read the docs; that's why I'm confused!
I almost stole another tagline.  I'm so ashamed.
I am an atheist still.  Thank God!
I am free of prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I am going to live forever, or die trying!
I am here.  Wish you were fine!
I am in total control, but don't tell my husband.
I am in total control, but don't tell my WIFE.
I am the Passion; I am the Warfare.
I brake for Unicorns.
I call things as I see them.  If I don't see them, I make them up!
I can accept constructive criticism (of you)
I can resist everything except temptation.
I can't remember if I used to know that.
I can't seem to find time to procrastinate...
I carry the dust of a journey...
I come from a long line of progenitors.
I compute, therefore, I AM NOT A TAGLINE.
I confess! I've been peeing in the sink!
I din't quite mean it to sound like that!
I don't believe in psychic powers, but I know you do.
I don't call 911.
I don't do Mondays!
I don't do mornings...
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't know, but it happened.
I don't need a spelling checker. I have an error-correcting modem.
I don't think I need an introduction, I'm already famous!
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, toto!
I don't want more, I want it all!
I don't want to play coach - we're losing..
I dont read these either...
I drink, therefore I am.
I feel more like I do now than when I arrived.
I forget what I was going to say...
I Forgot To Add A Tagline.
I guess you're wondering how I knew?
I had a tagline when I came in here
I HATE call waitin᮲NO CARRIER
I hate my tagline!
I hate taglines that get cut off in the middle of...
I have a firm grip on reality.  Now I can strangle it.
I have dynamic memory, it needs refreshing...
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
I Hit a bus stop sign which was obscured by people.
I hope I die before I get old...
I know a heartache when I see one.
I laugh at "paid programs"
I like Snickers.  In fact I'm off Topic!
I like work, I can sit and watch it for hours.
I liked that one.
I love my wife and my Turbo C, sure miss her.
I love you Sooo Much, When Your Far Far Away.
I may be fat--but you're ugly, and I can diet.
I may be SynThetic, But, I'm not sutpid.
I need everything, do you have it?
I never make typing mistakes, I have a smell checker!
I never use the same tagline thrice.
I never used to be able to finish anything, but now I
I object to all this sex on the television.  I keep falling off.
I only drink when I'm alone or with someone.
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go...
I own Seagates, want to make something of it?
I poured spot remover on my dog now he's gone.
I prefer a bottle in front of me.
I read the DSZ docs but now I'm more confused.
I saw the light! It hurt my eyes.
I see another red eyed morning coming.
I should have BBSed all night...
I stole this tagline from someone else!
I SUPPORT FREE Speech! Only, IF you agree with me.
I sure do love those BBSs.
I used to be apathetic, but now I just don't care.
I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
I used to have a life; now I have RelayNet.
I used to have a social life, now I have a computer.
I wave my private parts at your auntie.
I will choose Freewill - Rush.
I wish humans would leave me alone! Arc, Arc.
I wish I REALLY knew what I was doing.<sigh>
I wish someone would steal this tagline.<I DID>
I would have waited forever...
I would strongly oppose apathy, if I cared...
I wouldn't Perstor my mother-in-law!
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd rather be bicycling.
I'd rather be lucky than good anyday!...
I'de enjoy the ride, If I knew what it was?
I'll byte your bits if you'll nibble my words.
I'll do it when I remember what it was!
I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit !
I'll have this one, one more and another.
I'll have what the guy on the floor is having.
I'll never forget the first time I had amnesia...
I'll never forget Ummm... What's-Her-Name?
I'll never forget what's-his-name.
I'll try anything once too often.
I'm *not* lazy... I'm just resting before I get tired.
I'm a perfectionist with other people's work.
I'm apathetic and I don't care.
I'm back!
I'm fixin a hole where the rain gets out.
I'm flexible.  Just don't change anything.
I'm going to dread one day at a time.
I'm in shape, round's a shape isn't it?
I'm innocent and haven't been read my rights!
I'm looking for lust in all the wrong places.
I'm multitasking, not multiuser.  Tell my boss.
I'm not a stranger, only a friend you haven't met.
I'm not arrogant, I'm RIGHT!
I'm not competitive, I'm intense.
I'm not getting fatter ! Just thickening with age
I'm not tense, just terribly A*L*E*R*T
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
I'm on the Bleeding Edge of Technology!
I'm pink, therefore I'm spam.
I'm running out of tagline materials! Help!
I'm SO confused!
I'm sorry my karma ran over your dogma.
I'm still searching for myself.
I'm thinking! I'm thinking!
I'm too simple to have a complex...
I've fallen out and I can't get in!
I've got nine lives and I land on my feet.
I've walked on water, run through fire, can't seem to feel it any more.
IBM is 99.8% compatible... With Compaq 386 Pro
IBM stands for Inferior But Marketable.
IBM: U can buy better, but U can't pay more
If (output == CRAP) eat_words();
If anything _can't_ go wrong, it will.
If at first you don't succeed, call it DOS...
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed. call the author.
If horses had wishes we'd all make,..Combustibles
If I can't do it, then it just can't be done!
If I can't take it with me, I ain't going.
If I had a nickel for every bug...
If I want your opinion I'll beat it from you.
If I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
If I where two faced, would I wear this one?
If it ain't broke . . . fix it 'til it is!
If it ain't broke, upgrade it.
If It doesn't matter, and what if it did?
If it doesn't move, eat it. If it moves, kill it.  Then eat it.
If it gets hot, it isn't big enough!
If it itches - Stroke it!... It might Work.
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
if it works! Don't fix it!
If it's 04/14/90, we must be in Sandy Eggo.
If it's not broke, it must be the beta copy.
If it's not in the computer, then it doesn't exist.
If it's working PLEASE... Don't make Love to it!
If money could talk it would call my name.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
If Pro & Con are opposites, is Congress the oposite of Progress?
If someone doesn't help soon I'm gonna have to READ THE MANUAL!
If taglines could kill, I'd be dead.
If that's the way you want to be about it...
If the people lead, the leaders will follow.
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If variety = Spice/Life. Make mine milk.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If Version 1.0 works someone goofed...
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
If we could pool our Group Dynamics...
If wishes were fishes we'd all be in stitches.
If you act enthusiastic, you'll be...
If you can't be right, at least be careful.
If You Care Enough to Steal the very Best, Snipit.
If you don't like what I say, don't read your tag.
If you don't vote for me I'll kill you all.
If you had everything where would you put it?
If you hear an Onion ring Please... answer it!
If you knew it, when did you know you knew?
If you REALLY must stay, please leave.
If You Say Nothing, No One Will Repeat It.
If you're not there, don't ANSWER!
IfYouCanReadThisYourSpecksAreBetterThanMine.
Ignorance is not always Bliss!
Ignorance is the mother of superstition.
Illigitimus Non Carborundum.
Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP!
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
In blood, he's writing the lyrics of a brand new tune.
In gaming theory, life's a die, and then you bitch.
In God we trust, all others we verify.
In search for the perfect comm program...
In the end, Gravity Wins -- Dolly Parton.
In the end, there can be only one!
In the End, There can only be Telix, EZR, and DSZ
In your EZ-Reader config.  Specify BUGS = OFF.
Include <mandatory.cute.tagline>
Inquiring minds want to know.
Insanity is hereditary -- from your kids.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
Installation recommended (not included)
Instant swimmer.  Just add water.
Insufficient memory, add 4 megs and retry.
INTEL would've flunked Computer Architecture 101!
Intelligent life on Earth? Yes but I'm only passing through.
Introducing Mr and Mrs Ware, and their daughter Tuppa.
INVALID COMMAND.COM- USE 4DOS SYSTEM HALTED
Is a Hard Drive a transcontinental auto trip?
Is it a crime to be illiterate?!
Is it Friday, yet?
Is it live or is it an image?
Is it still Monday?!?
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
Is that MURPHY perched on my shoulder???
Is that seat saved? No, but we're praying for it.
Is the lack of a tagline a tagline in itself?
Is There Intelligent Life in the Universe? ARCARC
Is there such a thing as an honest lawyer?
Is this an imitation rough diamond, or what!
Is this an imitation rough diamond, or what!
Is this venison wild? Wild  -  it was livid!
Is this venison wild? Wild  -  it was livid!
Is virus a 'micro' organism?
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
It helps if you plug it in.
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearances.
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!
It seems to be uncontaminated by cheese.
It takes courage to originate, not imitate.
It was casual to the most obvious observer.
It works better if you plug it in!
It wouldn't matter to a man with an open heart.
It's 00:00 GMT.  Do you know where your AMIGA is?
It's 12:24 am. Do you know where *YOU* are?
It's 25:00! Do you know where I am?
It's a notable exception.
It's a Tough Job!... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
It's an acquired distaste.
It's another fine mess you got us into, Ollie.
It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
It's been Monday aaaaaaaaallllllll week!
It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It's kind of fun to Consummate the Impossible.
It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland either.
It's not for me to say...
It's not IF you hard drive crashes but WHEN!
It's not just reality that matters.
It's not lost, I'm just unsure of its position.
It's not lost, my mind is backed up somewhere!
It's only rock and roll but I like it.
It's stupid, stupid, and I don't respect it...
It's worst than that, he's dead, Jim.
Its a dog's life -how lucky they are!
Its an off-duty Czechoslovakian Traffic Warden!
Its been a Murphy day all week long.Sigh!
Its not the act but the word is the test...
Japenese is strange. I Kana understand it.
Job not found: (A)bort (R)etry (W)elfare
John Hancock - Where arrrrre you?
John Hancock is where it's at!
John Hancock..when you want to send the very best!
Join the campaign for freedom of filenaming, "FREEFILE.CMP"
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
Junk software doesn't require MNP transfers.
Just 'cause it won't work YOU think its buggy
Just a moment.. I have another call..
JUST DO IT!
Just do it... explore the possibilities!
Just how high can you throw that thing?
Just let me hear some of that Rock and Roll..
Just passing through.
Just Robocommin' Around!
Just say no! (To IBM)
Just some more irrelevant nonsense from me.
Just trying out a new thing or two...
Just trying to keep up...
Just wait until I reply to YOUR reply!
Keep only those you like, cancel anytime !
Keep your hands on the keyboard...
Kempo means never having to say your sorry!
Kill them all--God will know his own!
Killed by death...
Klingons need love, too.  Messy, but true!
Knock firmly but softly.  I like soft firm knockers.
Knock, Knock, Who is there?
Ladies with an attitude.
LAN Users Get more Connections
Last minute is always the most productive!
Last one out turn on the UPS.
last_laugh = gloat();
Late Roman score -Lions=3 Christians=1
LATER... AS IN MUCH!
Le Future, C'est C!
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn something NEW today!
Let the user debug it!
Let's have a Matriculation Orgy!
Let's share a dangerous idea.
Let's you and him fight.
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Lie: The program is bug free.
Life goes on day after day [after day]...
Life is a series of rude awakenings.
Life is anything that dies when you stomp it.
Life is best done awake.
Life is short, eat dessert first!
Life is too short to dance with ugly women.
Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
Life it seems, will fade away.
Life's a bitch and then you die...
Life's a bitch, then the phone bill comes in.
Life's short, eat dessert first!
Life: Is anything that dies when you stomp it.
Lifes a BEACH in SANDY EGGO!
Lightning & elephants do as they damn please!
Like it? Wanna buy it?
Like shadows on grass, or a child's play on the sands...
Like/head/wall/banging/feels/good/when/stop/
Line noise provided by British Telecom!
Liposuction will destroy your FAT.
Liquor? I don't even know her!
Listen to the rhythm of crashing hard drives
Listen to the rhythm of the failing bits...
Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain...
Live (?) from New York...
Live happy... Don't die.
LIVE! Via modem...
Locks only keep honest people out.
Look at the world through DOS eyes!
Looking for Love? Adopt a pet!
Lord give me patience... But hurry!
Love comes to you, and then after...
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
LSD melts your mind, not in your hand.
LuciferNet, the only Interlink node in HELL.
Luck: A matter of preparation meeting opportunity.
Macho Programmers Use Edlin.
Make my day.  Kill a GUI today.
Make someone happy, mind your own business.
Making tomorrow's mistakes today!
Man is the only animal that blushes.  Or needs to.
Man looks into the abyss, and sees himself.
MANIAC - An early computer built by nuts.
MarkMail  Robocomm  Pkzip  What a life!
Mary had a little RAM - only about a Meg or so.
Mary had potatoes, wine, salad and a little lamb.
Math and alcohol don't mix.  Don't drink and derive.
Math Problems? Call 1-800-10x(24+13)-(64-16)/2 36x2.
Mathematicians take it to the limit.
Me a stranger, Nah.. Just a friend you havn't met.
me gently with a chainsaw!
Me know gammar.  Me cood use it gud.
Me, Indecisive? Humm, I'm not so sure about that.
Mediocre is as mediocre does.  Just average.
Memory is a thing we forget with.
Memory is the first to go--thank goodness!
Memory... now where did I put my memory?
MIDI this, he said, pulling down his...
Military Intelligence is an oxymoron !
Missed it by THAT much.
Misspelled? Impossible.  My modem is error correcting.
Modem owners do it online!
Modem: A great deterrent to phone solicitors.
Modems... reach out and BYTE someone!
Monday is a bad way to spend 1/7 of your life.
MONTANI SEMPER LIBERI
More taglines coming soon...
Morse code rules...  - - -
Mosquito: Designed by God to make flies seem better.
Mother Nature didn't plan on Human nature.
Mr Sulu, set course for the HST Zone, warp 14400.
Multitasking allows screwing up several things at once.
Multitasking:Hanging up more than one program.
Murphy's Law needs to be vetoed!
My cat's name is: 'Winky, The One-Eyed Wonder Kitty'
My computer just won't stop talking.
my couch potato routine honed to perfection.
My cow died so I don't need your bull anymore.
My family tree is in the forest, somewhere!
My first Ez-reader reply!
My hard disk hisses like a rattle snake!
My hovercraft is full of eels.
My kingdom for a unique tagine!
My lucky colour just faded.
My Mom took my taglines away for a month!
My mother-in-law is an alien.
My nipples explode with delight!
My other computer is a HAL 9000!
My other tagline is a fridge.
My other tagline is better. Really!
My other tagline is on a bumper sticker.
My other tagline stolen at nodeid.
My programs don`t have bugs, they have undocumented features!
My reality check just bounced.
my tagline is off topic.
My taglines are original.  I am a copy.
My Taglines Original... It's Zeroxed.
My XT's not slow, it just takes its time!
N ever A gain V olunteer Y ourself
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Net mail, now where did my opener go.
Never a dull moment!
Never enter the dungeon naked! The monsters will laugh at you!
Never get lost, just momentarily disoriented.
Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Never say never again.
Never say never!
Never trust a computer you cannot carry.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never yell THEATRE in a crowded fire.
New Ez-reader user and my phone is free!
New ez-reader user tech support welcomed!
New Hayes AT command: AT ET = Phone Home.
New mail not found.  Start whine-pout sequence? (Y/N)
No amount of planning will replace dumb luck.
No Bermuda vacation... the bridge is out.
No Big Deal.
No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.
No matter what the subject, it's money.
No matter where you are there you are...
No No! Not the comfy chair!
No offense intended in anything above!
No one listens until you make a mistake.
No problemo.
No special reason, just government policy.
No Strippa Da Tagline !<Just can't resist GRIN>
No tagline needed.
No two identical parts are alike.
No, you _are_ right.  Its rubbish.
Nobody EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!
NOBODY inquisites the Spanish Expectation!
Nobody notices when things go right.
None of you exist, my sysop types all this in.
Norman Wisdom - A contradiction in terms.
Nostalgia is OK, but it's not what it used to be.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be!
Nosy bugger, ain't I?
Not a bug - an undocumented feature!
Not just a tagline, more a way of life.
Not panicking, eh? You simply haven't grasped the facts.
Not ready, error reading user's mind.
Not tonight, dear.  I have a modem.
Nothing behind you matters.
Nothing is foolproof, fools are too ingenious!
Nothing is so simple that it can't get screwed up.
Notice! Executive Error, Starting Sysop Erasure.
Now I've gone too far, where do I go now?
NOW is a point in time that is already gone.
Now is the time for all good men.
Now that there's your FIRST problem, Pilgrim!
Now then, was that funny or WHAT?
Now with the added power of Platformate.
Nuclear clock stands at five mins to midnite.
Nuclear clock stands at T - 5 minutes
Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.
Nuke 'em 'til they glow, shoot 'em in the dark.
Nuke it till' it glows.
Number One, you have the tagline!
Nurses make it all better.
Obscenity" is whatever gets the judge excited.
OBVIOUSLY a Norton fan!
Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind!
Official tag line area.
Oh give me a cray... Where the numbers play.
Oh say can you C...(at dawn's early light)
Oh! You been smoking that STUFF again, ummm?
Oh, I get it, you were kidding.
Oh, you're no fun anymore!
Ok, Lets Turn Up the Heat A Little!
Old age and treachery outdo youth and skill.
Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way.
Old McDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.  EIEIO.
Old programmers never die, they get updated!
Old soldiers never die, young ones do it for them.
Omen The only Way to MOBY!
On a clear disk you can seek forever!
On the Bleeding Edge of Technology...
On the hill we viewed the silence of the valley.
On the raw edge of reality I stood.
On the trailing edge on technology.
Once a night, always a Knight, all nite long!
Once i add stealth technology to my HST!
Once in a while you can get shown the light.
One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
One planet is all you get!
One size fits all is a lie.
One step forward, two steps back...
One thing about pain: it proves you're alive.
One's needs are a function of what other people have.
Online time is fine!
Online? Good! Hit <ALT-H> to take the I.Q. Test.
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
Only Lemmings jump to conclusions!
Only one chance to make a first impression!
Onward with ez-reader. Is my tie on straight?
OOPS! I stepped in something, GUI 
Open a hailing frequency...
Open mouth, insert foot, echo international.
Open my eyes, that I may see...
Open Roads... Open Minds.
Open the pod bay doors please, Hal.
Opportunity knocks but once, GRAB that sucker.
OS/2... half an operating system!
Ouch! And I mean it.
Our patience will achieve more than force.
Outta the way, ya knuckleheads!
Overweight just sort of snacks up on you.
Paranoia is heightened awareness!
Pardon me.. I have been smoking DSZ docs!
Park the HD? As in moving it from D to P?
Partition your hard drive with Disk Devastater
Partition your hard drive with Disk Mangler.
Pass the cinnamon rolls and another cup ff coffee.
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
Peanut Butter & Taglines: One Great Taste.
People fear *most* what they understand *least*
People who live in glass houses shouldn't.
People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Persist: the greatest effort's not enough.
Pets are it!
Philosophy is the root of all things.
PKWARE: "The Data Compression Experts" (tm)
Place Your Ad Here.
Plankton lobiest: "Nuke the whales!"
Play it Again, Sam.
Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons.
Please check your firearm at the door.
Please do Not: Fold, Spindle, or Cogitate.
Please don't yell at me.  I'm new at this.
Please save your burned out bulbs for me, I'm building a darkroom.
Please, Mr. Wizard! Which way is the Byteroom?
Pobody's nerfect!
POKER - The game of the GODS!
Politics is no exact science.
Potato Salad Special - $1.59 Today only!
Premium Notice: The check is in the mail!
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue...
Press <CTRL>-<LAMIGA>-<RAMIGA> to continue...
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Press ESC for the commercials...
Press [Ctrl][Alt][Del] to continue.
Problem: My #VARIABLE# doesn't want to.
Production is the basis of morale.
Profanity, the language computerists know.
Profanity, The Language of Computer Professionals.
Professor: One who talks in someone else's sleep.
Programmers are artists, too.
Programmers do it with their fingers. 
Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.
Programming: The art of debugging a blank sheet of paper.
Programs are just people in disguise.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Protect data from prying eyes: randomize it!
PS.  I'm a quiche-eating Pascal person!
Pssst, hey BUDDY, have I got a deal for YOU!
Psst, Buddy! Wanna buy some FL swamp land?
Put sweetcorn on your pillow.
Quit staring at this... And I mean NOW!
R/O capable (this is a BASIC tag-line!)
RAID - Kills bugs DEAD !
RAM DISK is *not* an installation procedure!
Reach out & touch someone... OUCH!
Read the docs?? Wow, what a RADICAL concept!
Read. You may learn someting!
Reading new Echomail is better than a Bad Day Fishing.
Reading takes time. It's FUNNER on RIME.
Reading, writing.  Who cares about arithmetic?
Real men write self-modifying code
Real Programmers Collect Lint.
Real Programmers Don't Write Games!
REAL Robocommies don't eat quiche.
Reality is a illusion caused by lack of alcohol.
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Reality is not for me and it makes me laugh.
Reality is when it happens to you.
Reality? Nope, not for me, It makes me laugh.
Reality? Yeah, I sorta remember that...
Receiving 0902f1ce.we1 (158223447 bytes).
Reduce brain fat.  Eat moral fiber.
Remedy for a FAT file: Take fewer bytes.
Remember to never split an infinitive.
Remember when SI= 60, Sigh, Now It's 2
Remember, we're all counting on you!
Remember, wherever you go, there you are.
Removal of this tagline is prohibited by law.
Research: Doing battle with ignorance.
Reversals are coming!
Revlon effect: Our only service is lip service.
Road-Kill Sold Here! Eat in or take out!
Rob the creative and give to the poor!
ROBOCOMM IT!
Robocommies do it with EZ-READER.
ROM: Randomly Operational Memory. Usually.
Round up the usual suspects!
Run away from what you want, it follows.
Run away! Run away! Run away!
Run! Run for safety, foolish pedestrians!
Safety Harbor Institute of Technology
Satisfied registered user of Telix v3.12
Save a tree-Eat a beaver!
SAVE THE NOCTURNALS!
Save the planet from disaster - Replicate
Save water, drink beer!
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Schizophrenic? I'm bleedin' Quadrophenic.
Scotty! Hurry, beam me u...  NO CARRIER
Scruples are best with garlic butter.
Scrute the inscrutable; eff the ineffable.
Searching for help in all the right places.
SEEK Error Reading Drive C:
Selamat Datang!
Send me a buck and I'll be RICH! (I wish)
Severe Memory Limitations.
She turned me into a newt! I got better...
She was buns up and kneelin, I was a wheelin and a dealing.
She's not reticent... Delicate... Shy...
Shhh! They'll hear you!
Shhhh! Listen to the bitstreams...
Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark.
Short attention span tagline
Short people don't need shrinks.
Short-hop to Johnson, bobbles it, over to 1st... Safe!
Show me something built to last
SILENCE: Wisdom's One Satisfactory Substitute.
Silver Xpress? It's tracks were washed out by a Blue Wave!
Single tasking? Just say no!
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
Sitting here with my BUFFER open!
Sitting watching the railroad tracks rust.
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
Sleazegate - The First Name in Disc Drives.
Sleazegate and Disk Mangler - What a pair!
Sleep? Isn't that some inadequate substitute for caffeine?
SMILE <CLICK> <FLASH> GOT IT!
Smile! It makes people wonder!
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to...
Smoking manuals is dangerous to your health.
So I wing it w/the Encyclopedia Britannica.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
So many BBSs, so little time!
So many messages, So little time!
So who did frame Roger Rabbit?
SOB: Sitting on Branch; FOB: Falling off Branch
Soccer is a good sport! Just don't SOCK-HER!
Solution: A more subtle problem.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!
Some men are discovered.  Others are found out.
Some people just don't know when to quit.
SOMEBODY HELP ME! My Keyboard Died!
Somebody keeps changing the rules.
Sorry, but how much did you say the penny sweets were?
Sounds like help is finally on the way!
Spaceman Spiff, interplanetary explorer...
Special new shade of sticking plasters  -  Nicotine stained yellow
Speed Limit `2.997298x10^8'
Stack Overflow. Press Any Key To Reboot.
Stamp it <Preliminary> and ship it.
STARK RAVING SOBER
Statements here are not those of the Sysop...
Step on it before it gets the children!
Steroids, the breakfast of champions.
Stone Dead Forever...
Stuffy, Pretentious, and PROUD of it!
STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP... park ELSEWHERE.
Such a long long time to be gone.
Support free trade.  SMUGGLE!
Support mental health... Or I'll kill you.
Support the economy: Buy a Hyundai!
Supra V22bis and working perfec$%*^^... NO CARRIER
Surf's up!
Sysop ('sih sop) n. - The guy laughing at your typing.
System halted - Press any key to do nothing.
Tag line under construction.
Tagline dispenser temporarily out of order.
Tagline fever is the primary symptom of the Blue Wave epidemic!
Tagline goes here - Use your imagination!
Tagline, I don't need no stinking tagline!
Tagline: Universal wisdom in 45 bytes.
Tagline? Where? What is a tagline, anyways?
Taglines - can't live with 'em...
TagLines are a figment of your imagination.
Taglines are an illusion, witty taglines doubly so.
Taglines... the electronic "bumper snicker"...
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take no prisoners, we can't feed them.
Take this shove and job it.
Take time to listen...
Take Your Mouse to lunch Today!
Takes a lot of RAM to make your floppy spin.
Talent is as talent does.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Teachers do it... but forgot how!
Teachers would do it... but forgot how!
Tearlines are a Rip Off!
TechnoBabble - Requires BS to understand!
TechnoBabble, the language of choice!
Technology is so technological.
Telix users are worth their SALT.
That Ain't My Wife.  She's My Sysop.
That was definately the LAST bug! ;-)
That's funny, you don't LOOK Druish...
That's not a bug! It's supposed to do that!---->*
That's not a Bug, that's an enhanced feature.
That's not a larch, it's an elm.
That's okay, my mother didn't BEAR me either!
The "HELL" you say...
The arrogance of age must submit to be taught by youth.
The banner bore a single word: Excelsior!
The beatings will continue utill moral improves.
The Best Prophet of The Future is The Past.
The bigger they are, the harder they punch.
The buck stops near here...
The cavalry is late.
The characters in this message are recyclable.
The circus is in town.
The computer made me do it, HONEST!
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even *down* is up!
The crulest lies are often told in silence.
The Cursed Cursor curses and having cursed...
The darn thing works better if you plug it in.
The early worm deserves the bird.
The faster I codes, the behinder I gets!
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
The fungus can destroy even the notebook.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The Greatest of Faults Is To Be Conscious of None.
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get!
The lunatic types on...
The man who has everything should be quarantined.
The meek don't want it.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The most perfect day to do *ANY* job is tomorrow!
The name is Bond - James Bond.
The new,inexperienced new kid on the block.
The nicer I am the more they think I'm lying.
The ocean is the ultimate solution.
The only brain-dead 286 chips are made by Intel...
The path to enlightenment requires a flashlight with fresh batteries.
The pen is not as mighty as the Kalashnikov!
The people all know, Everyone's doin' that rag.
The phone bill was how much? YeeeOuch!
The phone's tapped anyway.
The Poor? The Poor? I love the Poor. Pull!
The PS/2 Mod 50 was designed on a Monday.
The Registered shall inherit the Earth!
The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.
The rules stay the same, the game changes.
The scenery only changes for the lead dog.
The secret is in the rinse cycle.
The shadowy figure seems to be trying to get your attention.
The Sky Is Falling, Shut Up! The Ground is Flying!
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
The State: friend to all, enemy of each one.
The Tagline of Tommorrow... Today!
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.
The Vogons are *not* the worst poets in the Galaxy, and I can prove it.
The wind blows for free.  How much do you charge?
The world is a stage with no audience.
There are no answers, only cross-references.
There is always a way.
There's a lesson in there somewhere.
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over!
There's sumpthin' bigger than Phil!
There's that strange noise from the drive again...
They cured my schizophrenia, so where am I now I need me?
They've given me that there stuff that floats...
Things equal to nothing, are always equal.
Things get worse under pressure.
This car only needs _minor_ repairs...
This is a confidential tagline.
This is a parapsycic tagline...
This is a sample tagline. Ignore it.
This is an ex-parrot!
This is home - This is mean street.
This is meaningless...
This Is My Tagline. Go Steal Your Own!
This is only a demo reply...
This lagtine is 100% spell checked.
This product has been cruelly tested on cute little furry animals.
This said, the inevitable failed to happen.
This sentence is false.
This space for rent.
This space formerly used by a tagline.
This statement is a lie.
This tag is bi-lingual. English and American.
This tag is copyrighted, sorry.
this tag wastes your time and mine...
This tagline deleted.
This tagline intentionally left blank.
This tagline is 100% EZ-Reader compatible!!
This Tagline is a figment of your intelligence.
This tagline is a pirate copy.  Contact FAST at once.
This TagLine is Closed for Remodeling.
This tagline is encouraged where prohibited.
This tagline is firmly etched in Jello!
This tagline is SHAREWARE! To register, send me $10.
This tagline is umop apisdn.
This tagline made from 100% recycled electrons.
This tagline to be removed only by consumer.
This tagline will selfdestruct in 10 seconds!
This world aint fit for *US* decent folks!
ThistaglineiscompressedbyPKZ1.199%.
Those dreaded words: Hard disk failure.
Those who follow like sheep are bound to get fleeced.
Thought is action in rehearsal.
Til we cross-references again...
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
Time goes? No.  Alas time stays, we go.
Time is an illusion. Lunch-time doubly so.
Time: A descending scale of intelligence.
Times don't change, senility just makes it seem that way!
Tin cans and a string...
To add a tagline or not add a tagline...
To Boldly Probe Where No Man Has Probed Before!
To do: Back up the disk, someday!
To each his bone.
To each his clone!
To err is human but it feels divine!
To err is human, but sometimes so devine!
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
To err is human, to forgive is unthinkable.
To go where no man has gone before...
To tag or not to tag, that was the tagline!
Today is the last day of your life, so far.
Today is Tomorrow Yesterday.  Remember The Future.
Today is tomorrow's yesterday.
Too many bells and whistles
Too many boards, not enough phone lines.
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
Toto, I don't think that we're in Kansas anymore.
Trade ya' some MIPs for some MegaFlops!
Trombonists do it with better positions.
Trust me, I'm a consultant.
Truth is the last thing folks want to hear.
Try Clarion for REAL database Development!
Try Your Best, Then Steal The Rest.
Tunes in the distance...
Turbo Pascal my true speech pattern.
Turn down your air guitar.
Turn it up!
Turn it up!, Louder! Now I can't hear you!
Turn the sucker over, and whack it!
Twas Brillig and the Slithy Toves...
Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an aeroplane.
Two's company, three's the result!
Ugly fellas get the girl!
Uhmmmmm, I forget what You were going to say?
Undocumented features will rule the Earth.
Unify the world; be ZIP compatible!
Unrecoverable Application Error  -  Self Distruct Initiated.
Use Raid. Stops bugs dead!
Use undiluted Lint for clean programs.
Use your tag line today!
Users are *my* nightmare
Users are always right... Until they're out of earshot.
Users to actually hear ansi music.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Vivisection is a crime: unless you use a mime.
void atexit("Jump in a lake!");
Vote Libertarian!
Voyage of the Acolyte.
Vulcan strength training: Lift long and perspire.
Waiting to overcome all objections, results in nothing.
Walls impede my progress.
Wana know what they say about you... Hummm...
Wanna buy that bus for my baby some day...
wanta' see me pull a rabbit outa' my hat??
Wanted Dead or Alive: One pink rabbit with a drum.
Warning! Life is subject to change without notice!
WARNING! Removal of this tagline prohibited by law!
Was it as good for you, as it was for me???
Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a Purple Hayes?
Was Sigmund Freud the Wizard of Id?
Was that an African or European swallow?
Was that meant to be funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?
Wasn't EZ-Reader a child's 1st Grade Tutorial.
Watch out for those offensive speed humps!
Watch out, there's a Moderator about!
Water Polo - a REAL contact sport.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We apply ourselves to perfection of That.
We are having technical difficulties.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We are what we do, not what we say.
We have the ANSWER? ..Now! What is the question?
We hired you to baby sit.  You cooked and ate them BOTH?
We lived for 3 months in a paper bag in a sceptic tank.
We now return control of your brain, CokeControl.
We now return Control of your Modem to you...
We talk some right garble sometimes don't we!
We tortured the data until it confessed.
We've gone too far now, we can never go back!
Welcome My Friend! Welcome To LaMachine!
Welcome to My Electronic Blunderland.
Well if you know a better place, go to it!
Well, I'm off to D/L a file... Wish me luck.
What a long strange trip its been.
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it.
What alignment am I? Chaotic-confused!
What am I doing here, anyway?
What are you looking down here for?
What Are You Looking For? There's Nothing's Here!
What does this button do... NO CARRIER.
What does this red button do?
What goes around, comes abound.
What goes around, Humm, is usually a real DRIP!
What goes in is not always what comes out!
What I need is a faster modem?
What me worry? I read relay mail.
What problem are we trying to solve here?
What we have here is a failure to commun%#^$)_*$% NO CARRIER
What we need is Scratch N Sniff taglines!
What! Me Recompile?
What's a tagline
What's another word for Thesaurus?
What's this button do? Click! Poof!# $ $%?
WhatIAmIsWhatIAmAreYouWhatYouAreOrWhat?
Whats a Tag Line?
What`s tennis without a racket?
When all else fails, read the docs.
When all else fails, unZIP the .DOC files.
When entering dark room always wear negative glasses.
When everyone thinks alike, then everyone is stupid.
When in doubt, be positive, mumble loud!
When in doubt, form a committee
When in doubt, mumble.
When in doubt, press Ctrl-Alt-Del.
when in doubt, sell it!
When in doubt, worry.
When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
When you BARELY have time to call the very best!
When you're really in doubt, press RESET.
When your work SPEAKS for itself... Run
Whenever I get a grip on reality, the handle falls off.
Where Am I?
Where ever Yugo, I go.
Where there's a will, there's a won't.
Where we going and why am I in this handbasket?
Where's the ANY key?
Wherever Yugo, I go...
While the lunatic dreams the Earth changes.
Who has been fooling around with my computer?
Who is to guard the guards themselves?
Who knows? Who cares? Who votes?
Who put the fly in Mrs. Murphy's chowder?
Who says '1+1' REALLY equals '2'?
WHO sees a BEACH BUNNY sobbing on a SHAG RUG?!
Who started this tagline business, anyway?
Who watches the Watchmen?
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Who's to bless and who's to blame?
Who... Me? Just as soon as I check the BBS.
Why are love and relationships so confusing?
Why are taglines harder to write than messages?
Why do backups fail when you need them?
Why do Red lights last longer than Green ones
Why do your backups fail when you need them?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does _nobody_ admit to buying the Daily Sport or voting Tory?
Why is it that the best taglines are too lon
Why use anything but Telix for communications.
Windows open and let the bugs in.
With a name like SNAPPER it's gotta be good.
With schizophrenia you're never alone!
Without Waves there would be no change.
Wolfgang's Third Law: It can't work.
Won't work? Do you have a problem with that?
Words are mere bubbles of water, but deeds are drops of gold.
Work is the curse of the partying classes!
Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Write complaint legibly in this box: []
Writing to Washington won't help  he's dead!
Ya want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
Yankee by birth, Texan by choice!
Yes, I *know* it's a harmonica, but where are the strings???
Yes, I do Windows (3.0)...
Yes, I WAS wearing my seat belt!
Yesturday I kudknot spel engeneere now I r one.
Yet Another D**n Yankee
You are only as good as everyone else thinks !
You can pick your friends, but you can't roll them into green balls.
You can't call PTL NOW, - I'm downloading!
You can't close the door when the wall's caved in.
You cannot fathom the consciousness of a leaf.
You don't have a AMIGA yet?!?!?
You keep saying that, I don't think it means what you think it means.
You know what they say about that...
You non-conformists are all alike.
You won't catch me talking to my wife!
You won't catch me up a mountain!
You're Never Alone With Schizophrenia.
You're never so old you can't die.
You're not getting older, just better.
You've a brilliant mind... Until it's made up...
You've been smoking that stuff again, uh?
Your $500,000 is in the mail. (Wait 14 days)
Your foot, Your mouth, Go arrange a meeting.
Your life gave them a treasure, a piece of themselves.
Your modesty amounts to deformity...
Your punishment, Barbarella, is Tom Heydan!
YOUR SISTER DATES A SYSOP!
ZZZZZZZ   This Tagline is taking a nap     ZZZZZZZ
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without
 providing you with company.
A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
A fail-safe circuit will destroy all others.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A fool plunges ahead with great confidence.
A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
A liberal is someone too poor to be conservative,
 and too rich to be a communist.
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line
 from an unwarranted assumption to a forgone conclusion.
A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will
 protect the fuse by blowing first.
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
A wise man has something to say, a fool has to say something.
A wish is a desire without an attempt.
According to the latest official figures,
 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
All animals are created equal, but some animals
 are created more equal than others.
All general statements are false.
All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
All in all, you're just another brick in the wall....
All's fair in Love and War
 (Is there a difference?)
Always remember that strength is obtained by meeting resistance.
An easily understood workable falsehood is more useful
 than a complex incomprehensible truth
An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half the data
 must be discarded to agree with the theory.
An optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
 the pessimist FEARS it's true.
An optimist is one who makes the best of it,
 when he gets the worst of it.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Any government that is strong enough to give the people everything they 
 want is a government that's strong enough to take it away.
Any program will expand to fill available memory.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
 Arthur C. Clarke
Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
Apathy is the worlds fastest growing disease.
 But who cares?
Attitude determines your altitude.
Average is as close to the bottom as to the top.
Attitude determines your altitude.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Being born was just the first of my crimes.
Better a pebble given out of love, than a diamond given out of duty.
Beware of altruism.  It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
Big Brother is Watching!
 George Orwell
Boycott Jane Fonda.
 (everyone hates Jane Fonda, don't they?)
By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.
Calculation never made a hero.
Change is certain, progress is not.
Character is what you know you are, not what others think you are.
Coles Law:  Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
Confusion creates jobs!
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
Delusions are often functional.
Democracy is based on the assumption that a million
 men are wiser than one.
Desperate men do desperate things.
Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Every dog has his day.
Every man has the right to be wrong in his opinions,
 but no man has the right to be wrong in his facts.
Every man must row with the oars he has.
Every purchase has its price.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.
Expenditures rise to meet available income.
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Expert advice is a great comfort, even when it's wrong.
Facts are stubborn things.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
For whatever reason, be it historical, or oppression, or what have you,
 there are an awful lot of not too bright women.
Forgive and Remember.
Form never follows function.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Friends don't let their friends drive drunk.
Get yours while there's still some left.
Goals are dreams with deadlines.
God does not play dice.
God made the integers, all else is the work of man.
God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Government can't change the course of the ship,
 it merely adjusts the compass.
Government isn't the solution, it's the problem.
 Ronald Reagan
Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.
Gun control is being able to hit your target.
Habit is stronger than reason.
He that would first govern others, first should be a master of himself.
He who dies with the most toys, wins!
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who has the gold makes the rules.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who is ignorant of the past, is condemned to repeat it.
He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
He who pays the piper calls the tune.
He who rows the boat generally doesn't have time to rock it.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Help Stamp Out and Eliminate Redundancy
 Help Stamp Out and Eliminate Redundancy
Hindsight is an exact science.
History repeats itself.
How much dirt must you shovel on something that's already dead?
Human beings are consistently inconsistent.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
I already came, so stop jerking me off.
I don't know, I don't care and it doesn't make any difference.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I
 am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, try someone else.
If god didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
If it can't be expressed in figures,
 it is not science; it's opinion.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
If rats are experimented on, they will develop cancer.
If she's Snow White, then I must be Grumpy.
If tempted by something that feels "altruistic",
 examine your motives and root out the self-deception.
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
If the opposite of pro is con, what is the opposite of Progress?
If there is an opinion, facts will be found to support it.
If things were left to chance, they'd be better.
It works better if you plug it in.
If you can't get the answer in the usual manner,
 start at the answer and derive the question.
If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
If you can't win, make the one in front of you break the record.
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't
 actually live longer, it just seems that way.
If you want to get along, go along.
If you're coasting, you're going downhill.
If you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.
Ignorance is Bliss!
 George Orwell
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
 beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
In the act of loving someone, you arm them against you.
Indecision is the basis of flexibility.
Individualists Unite!
Inflation is one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.
Integrity has no need of rules.
Interchangeable parts won't.
It is better to risk saving a guilty man,
 than to condemn an innocent one.
It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's better to be a lion for a day, than a sheep all your life.
It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,
 than to open it and remove all doubt.
It's fascinating how memory diffuses fact.
It's hard to detect good luck, it looks so much like
 something you've earned.
It's not easy taking problems one at a time,
 when they refuse to get in line.
It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
Law, without force is impotent.
Life is tough, life is tougher when you're stupid.
Man created god in his own image.
Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
Men get mad and get it over with, women hold grudges forever.
More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than from nuclear power.
Most men who run down women are usually running down only one woman.
Most problems partially defined are problems partially solved.
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's Law:  If anything can go wrong, it will.
Negative expectations yield negative results,
 Positive expectations yield negative results.
Never forget what a man says to you when he's angry.
Never let hold of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
Never look behind you, something may be gaining on you.
Never program and drink beer at the same time.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Never trust anyone that volunteers to assume authority.
Never try and teach a pig to sing,
 it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
New Jersey?  What exit....
No action is without side effects.
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No man can truly grow up while his father is still alive.
No man's life, liberty or possessions are safe while the
 legislature is in session.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.
Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere in your organization.
Not all men are fools, some are bachelors.
Nothing is certain except death and taxes.
Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections
 must first be overcome.
Of all the forces acting on man, change is the most
 beneficial and the most cruel.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains is the solution,
 no matter improbable it may seem.
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can 
 them is to use a bigger can.
One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.
Only God can make a random selection.
 (Even though the computer randomly chose this message)
One of the few rules of evolution is that extreme specialization
 results in eventual extinction.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
Parkinson's Axioms:  Officials want to multiply subordinates.
 Officials make work for each other.
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
People are divided into two groups, the righteous and the un-righteous,
 and the righteous do the dividing.
People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
People who say they're willing to meet you halfway are often
 poor judges of distance.
Possessions increase to fill available space.
Power means not having to respond.
Pray for the success of atheism.
Problems are only Opportunities in Disguise.
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
 programmer who must maintain it.
Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
Reality is for those people who can't cope with drugs.
Reality is the illusion produced by an alcohol deficiency.
Reality is the leading cause of stress,
 among those that are in touch with reality.
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
Remember the turtle, he never makes any progress until
 he sticks his neck out.
Reputation is character minus what you've been caught doing.
Rust Never Sleeps.
Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
Say no, then negotiate.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
Shirley's Law:  Most people deserve each other.
Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
Software stands between man and his machine.
Sometimes you just gotta say "What the HELL!"
Sometimes you step in it, and sometimes you don't.
Sooner or later you must pay for your sins.
Statistical analysis has often meant the mainpulation of ambiguous data
 by means of dubious methods to solve a problem that has not been defined.
Stupid people shouldn't breed.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Technological man can't believe in anything that can't be measured,
 taped or put into a computer.
Thank God, we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
The best laid plans of mice and men are usually equal.
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.
The best way to succeed in politics is to find a crowd that's 
 going somewhere and get in front of them.
The field of probability is too important to be left to chance.
The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be
 of no possible use to him.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
The government that governs least governs best.
The greatest American superstition is the belief in facts.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The greatest masterpiece of literature is only a dictionary out of order.
The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
The knowledge that a secret exists is half the secret.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The liberal paranoids (if that's not redundant) are at it again.
The man who invented the guillotine died under its knife.
The most dangerous of untruths, are truths moderately distorted.
The number of people in any working group tends to increase
 regardless of the amount of work to be done.
The other line moves faster.
The person who knows everything has a lot to learn.
The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change,
 the realist adjusts the sails.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The probability of being watched is proportional
 to the stupidity of your actions.
The probability of failure is directly proportional to the
 anxiety of the programmer.
The real world is a special case.
The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
 This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
The secret of success is sincerity,
 learn to fake it and you've got it made.
The solution to the problem, changes the problem.
The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
The sum of intelligence on the planet is constant,
 the population is growing.
The supply of government exceeds the demand.
The ten most feared words in the English language are:
 "Hello, I'm from the government and I'm here to help...."
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win,
 you're still a rat.
There is no limit to how bad things can get.
There is no such thing as a fail-safe design.
There is no such thing as a "free lunch".
 (only a choice of restaurants)
There is no such thing as a little garlic.
There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice,
 but there must never be a time when we fail to protest it.
There's three sides to every story, yours, mine
 and the cold hard truth.
Those who don't study the past will repeat its errors.
They never remember when I'm right and never forget when I'm wrong.
Time is natures way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
Time rarely proceeds at a pace perceived by the individual as appropriate.
To love is to be vulnerable.
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
To think is easy and to act is hard, but the hardest thing in the
 world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
Today is the day you worried about yesterday.
Tolerances will accumulate uni-directionally toward
 maximum difficultly to assemble.
Total paranoia is perfect awareness.
Trust everyone, then cut the cards.
Two farmers, each claimed to own a certain cow.  While one pulled on 
 its head and the other on the tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer.
Unity is a polite word for control.
Unless you're the lead mule, the scenery is always the same.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow.
We, the willing , led by the unknowing
 are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
We cannot imagine how our lives could be more frustrating or complex,
 but congress can...
We have met the enemy and he is us.
Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.
What's the difference between Dan Quayle and Jane Fonda?
 -- She went to Vietnam --
What men learn from history, is that men do not learn from history.
What's the difference between marriage and a gun?
 The gun is faster.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
When all else fails, lower your standards.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When does a system administrator do the first backup?
 The first day on the job after the system adminsitrator who never did.
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
When people are free to do as they choose, 
 they usually imitate each other.
When regard for the truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened,
 all things remain doubtful.
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money,
 fraud will result.
When working toward the solution of a problem,
 it always helps if you already know the answer.
When your opponent is down, kick him.
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Why do divorces cost so much?
 -- Because they're worth it! --
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
You are better off not knowing how sausages and laws are made.
You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
You can achieve more by patience than talent.
You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
You can go wrong by being too skeptical
 as readily as by being too trusting.
You can have peace or you can have freedom.
 Don't ever count on having both at once.
You can observe alot just by watching.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which
 side of the bread to butter.
You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
You can't become a martyr every time you get ticked off.
You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put
 a few nickels in the machine.
You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
You can't fall off the floor.
You can't win, you can't break even, you can't even quit.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they
 could and should do for themselves.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot lift up the wage-earner up by pulling down the wage-payer.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
You have taken yourself too seriously.
You know you're in trouble when you can't stand folks who are intolerant.
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes, keep this is mind.
You're never alone with a schizophrenic.
A computer's attention span is only as long as its power cord.
Everything needs a little oil now and then.
You can't gaurd against the arbitrary.
No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
Love stinks.
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
What most people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidities.
All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious
 things against him, but we never hear his side.
Nothing happens to you that hasn't happened to someone else.
Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.
When in doubt, tell the truth.
You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
The more advanced the civilization, the less powerful the individual.
When in doubt, power down.
A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than of 
 simplification, until the resulting unreliability is intolerable.
The error-detection and correction capabilites of any system will serve
 as the key to understanding the type of errors which they cannot handle.
Everything you know is wrong.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Appearances often are deceiving.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Bigamy is having one spouse too many.  Monogamy is the same.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Colorless green odors gravitate furiously.
Create the impression that you have already reached
 your level of incompetence.
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
Do not tell big lies.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
When in doubt, take all the defaults.
Who is John Galt?
The most useful program will be continually improved until it is useless.
California has its faults.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
Of the choice of two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
Computer modelers simulate it first.
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.
Wasting time is an important part of life.
When in doubt, don't bother.
Computer hackers do it all night long. 
Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
 it's time to pause and reflect --- Mark Twain
Good advice usually works best when preceded by a bad scare.
Statistics are no substitute for judgement.
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous,
 you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
It is important for our friends to believe that we are unreservedly
 frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.
Storms make trees take deeper roots.
He who praises everybody, praises nobody.
Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.
How can you be in two places at once, when you're nowhere at all?
Old age = you + 20 years.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac,
A seven day honeymoon makes one weak.
Familiarity breeds.
To every exception there is a rule.
Design flaws travel in groups.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
The cycle will repeat itself.
There's always one more bug.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Postmen never die, they just lose their zip.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
If you leave the room, you're elected.
May you live in interesting times.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
A man's house is his hassle.
May all your wishes be granted.
Swallow your pride, it is non-fattening.
Dyslexia rules KO.
When in doubt, mumble.
Laughter lubes lifes engine.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
There are truths which can kill a nation.
Take an astronaut to launch.
External Storage - Wastebasket.
The population is growing.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Chicken - the egg's way of making more eggs.
What's worth doing is worth doing for money.
If you wait, it will go away.
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
If at first you don't succeed, give up.
If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
The biggest mistake that you can make
Lose weight - eat stuff you hate.
There's a sucker born every minute.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A man's best friend is his dogma.
Respect must be earned, not commanded.
The greatest ability is dependability.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
!retupmoc siht edisni deppart ma I !pleH
Pop up, push down, Byte, Byte, Byte!
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
Leakproof seals ... don't.
Draw your salary before spending it.
If it works, Don't fix it.
If it looks tough, it's impossible.
Laetrile is the pits.
Idleness is the holiday of fools.
Experiments should be reproducable,
Programmers get overlaid!
Raise ducks for a quack profit.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
If it looks easy, it's tough...
Friction is a drag.
A father is a banker provided by nature.
Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
Jesus Saves - not on my salary he doesn't.
Behind every successful woman - herself.
Windows Error: 002 No error . . . yet.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
Lawyers work in their briefs.
Have you tried on your smile today?
Can't underestimate the power of fear.
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Why does bread always fall butter side down?
She's a bird in a gilded cage.
It's easier to do good then be good.
Mad at your neighbor?  Buy his kid a drum!
The rooster may crow, but the hen delivers.
Reduce your i.o.u. to i.r.s with an i.r.a.
Biology grows on you.
Why stop now, just when I'm hating it?
Always remove the last screw first.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
The more you say, the less people remember.
To be or not to be - Shakespeare
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
The real world is a special case.
It won't work.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Unknown: soon to be grunged, somewhere.
The telephone will ring when you are outside
Constipation is the thief of time.
Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
Conversation enriches the understanding,
Wanna do something big?  Pick up a boulder.
Take it from me - he's got the goods.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
How you look depends on where you go.
Arsonists of the world, ignite!
Dyslexics of the world untie !
Anarchy, No rules - OK?
Too busy to laugh?  Then you are too busy.
To be is to do.
To do is to be.
If it is to be, it is up to me.
Expert - anyone from out of town.
That does not compute.
Silence cannot be misquoted.
What's tennis without a racket?
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
Old frogs never die...but they do croak.
Loan someone a sympathetic ear.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Success isn't how far you got.
A stitch in time saves nine.
A friend in need is a pain in the ass.
100,000 lemmings can't be wrong.
Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
Don't ask me; I was hired for my looks.
Lord give me patience......But Hurry!
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Love is a matter of chemistry.
Cutting remarks don't cut any ice.
Don't get mad, get even.
When all else fails, read the manual.
The other line moves faster.
Amnesia rules - O
Tell a child he got 1 right, not 99 wrong.
Unwritten laws can not be erased.
Negative slack tends to increase.
Xerox...all they ever do is copy.
All general statements are false.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Alas poor kiroY, I knew him backwards.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Don't drink water, fish breed in it.
Things work better if you plug them in.
He who hesitates is last.
Individualists unite!
Happiness is wanting what you have.
Knowledge is knowing that you don't know.
Well done is better then well said.
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
"I hate quotations."   Ralph Waldo Emerson
"The tide is turning ... the enemy is suffering 
 terrible losses..." - Gen. Geo.A.Custer
'tis an ill wind that blows no minds
...and sometimes a piercer drops by.
10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
99.87% of the solar system's weight is in the sun.
A bad compromise is better than a good battle.
A bird in the bush can't relieve itself in your hand.
A bird in the hand does it on your wrist.
A clove of garlic a day keeps your best friends away.
A corophagist eats dung.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind 
 and won't change the subject.
A flashback is a man with his raincoat on backwards.
A great empire, like a great cake, 
 is most easily diminished at the edges.
A hen is an egg's way of making another egg.
A hermit is a deserter from the army of humanity.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A kiss on the hand might feel very good, 
 but a diamond tiara lasts forever.
A liberal is someone too poor to be a 
 capitalist and too rich to be a communist.
A little coitus never hoitus.
A man forgives only when he is in the wrong.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man's tie should never be louder than his wife.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A Puritan is someone who is afraid that 
 someone somewhere is having fun.
A rumour has it that rumours are just rumours.
A Smith and Weston beats four aces.
A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
A sword sometimes misses its mark -- a bouquet never.
A thing not worth doing is worth not doing well.
A volcano is a mountain with hiccups.
A winner never quits. A quitter never wins.
A wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
Air hostesses have the lowest divorce rate amoung working women.
Alienation can be fun.
All heiresses are beautiful.
All in all, it's just another brick in the wall ...
All monsters are created evil, but some are more evil than others.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the wild camels in the world live in Australia.
Always attack a floating Eye from behind!
Always be aware of the phase of the moon!
Always do right.  This will gratify 
 some people, and astonish the rest.
An expert is a person who avoids the small 
 errors as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
Anticipated events never live up to expectations.
Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to sell it.
Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Australia: where men are men and sheep are nervous.
Avoid rape, dress sensibly.
Balrogs only appear on the deeper levels.
Batman loves Robin.
Be careful when the moon is in its last quarter.
Be careful when throwing a boomerang - 
 you might hit the back of your head.
Be friends with the wolf, but keep one hand on your ax.
Beauty is skin deep, ugliness goes all the way through.
Become a gynacologist, look up a friend today.
Begin in the beginning and go on 
 till you come to the end; then stop.
Better go home and play with your 
 kids. They are just little monsters!
Better latent than never.
Better living a beggar than buried an emperor.
Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Better turn back than lose your way.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Beware of the Jewish Maffia, Kosher Nostra.
Beware of the leopard!
Beware of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
Blame it on Croesus.  It's all his vault!
Blessed are they that run around in circles, 
 for they shall be known as wheels.
Blessed is he that expects nothing, 
 for he shall not be disappointed.
Break rules OK.
Bring back futility.
British Airways: We take more fares off you.
Bullets don't respect uniforms.
Cancer cures smoking.
Cannibalize legalis.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
Chinese saying: He who speak with 
 forked tongue, not need chopsticks.
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Close cover before striking.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Come back Godot, all is forgiven.
Common sense is not very common.
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Cookery books outsell sex books in the USA by three to one.
Could acne be the work of a sane God?
Courage is grace under pressure.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Culture is the habit of being 
 pleased with the best and knowing why.
Death before dishonour, drugs before lunch.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death is the price of evolution.
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than 
 half of the people are right more than half of the time.
Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
Depressive neurosis is nothing to laugh about.
Discretion is the better part of valour.
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
Do not take life too seriously: 
 you will never get out of it alive.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do something big today: lift a boulder.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Do you ever get the feeling that the story's too damn real?
Dogs do not eat when the moon is full.
Don't be humble, you're not that great.
Don't comment bad code -- rewrite it.
Don't despair -- your ideal lover is 
 waiting for you around the corner.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don't make yourself too comfortable.
 You'll be leaving soon.
Don't quit now, we might just as well 
 lock the door and throw away the key.
Don't stop at one bug.
Don't tell a soul you found a secret door, 
 otherwise it isn't secret anymore.
Donald Duck isn't all he's quacked up to be.
Drive defensively - buy a tank.
Drugs are for people who can't handle reality.
Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled.
Education helps earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.
Eschatology's days are numbered.
Eschew obfuscation.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you're dressed for it.
Euclid was square.
Even an abstract virtue needs an occasional break.
Even dirty old men need love.
Even great wizards turn pale at the 
 mere mention of the name Yog Sothoth.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Ever tried to put a Troll into a large box?
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every creature has within itself 
 the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
Every man has a scheme that will not work.
Every nation has the government it deserves.
Every silver lining has a cloud inside it.
Everybody needs a little love sometime.
Everybody ought to have a friend.
Everyone is enthusiastic about your work.
Everything begins with E.
Everything should be built top-down, except the first time.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Everything you know is wrong!
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Fear has big eyes.
Feel the force Luke.
Feudalism: Its your count that votes.
Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to 
 those who are about to be betrayed.
Fight for apathy.
Finagle's Law: The perversity of 
 the universe tends toward a maximum.
Flee at once, all is discovered.
Florists are just petal pushers.
For any remedy there is a misery.
Forgive your enemies and they will return a hundredfold.
Free speech has no limits, for those who can afford the fines.
Friends may come and friends may go, enemies accumulate.
George Orwell was an optimist.
George Washington grew marijuana.
Give me Librium or give me death.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Goat's milk is udder joy.
God does not play dice.
God helps them that help themselves.
God is alive, she just doesn't want to get involved.
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
God may be subtle, but She isn't mean.
God must love the common man: They are so common.
Gold is a heavy metal.
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good intentions randomize behavior.
Gossip is the opiate of the depressed.
Hackers do it with bugs.
Hail Eris!  All hail Discordia!
Half Moon tonight.  
 (At least it's better than no Moon at all.)
He who comes latest, is always the greatest.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who hesitates looses the parking spot.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
He who spends a storm beneath a 
 tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
Hell is a good place to visit, 
 but you wouldn't want to live there.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.  [The Tempest]
Heute die welt: Morgens das sonnensystem!
Hire the morally handicapped.
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How sharper than a hound's 
 tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How you look depends on where you go.
Hugh Hefner is a virgin.
I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time either.
I don't want to be worshipped, I want to be loved.
I like work; it fascinates me; 
 I can sit and watch it for hours.
I smell a maze of twisty little passages all alike.
I was a victim of a series of 
 accidents, as are we all.
I was an athiest until I realised I was God.
I will see it when I believe it.
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why.
If a group of N persons implements a COBOL compiler, there 
 will be N-1 passes: Someone in the group has to be the manager.
If a listener nods his head when you are 
 explaining your program, wake him up.
If at first you don't succeed, get new batteries.
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
If everyone was locked up it would be safe on the streets.
If God had wanted you to go around nude, 
 She would have given you bigger hands.
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
If its worth doing, its worth doing for money.
If the human brain was simple enough to 
 understand, we'd be so stupid we couldn't.
If there's anything worse than a woman living alone,
 it's a woman saying she likes it.
If voting could change things it would be illegal.
If we knew where we were going to fall, 
 we could have put a cushion there.
If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
If you can't learn to do it well, 
 learn to enjoy doing it badly.
If you don't know what the program will do,
 you'd better not start writing it.
If you have to ask you're not entitled to know.
If you sleep under the bed you must be a little potty.
If you think before you speak 
 the other guy gets his joke in first.
If you tickle yourself, you can laugh when you please.
If you want a fortune cookie, go to a Chinese restaurant.
If you want to know how old 
 a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
If you're beatiful, admit it.
Ignorance is a lack of knowledge.  
 Stupidity is ignorance with pride.
Ignorance is bliss.
Ignorance is when you don't know 
 anything and somebody finds it out.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
In unanimity there is cowardice and uncritical thinking.
In wickedness there is a strong strain toward rationality.
Incest - en lek for hele familien.
Inside every large program is a 
 small program struggling to get out.
Integrity has no need for rules.
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is an offence to slam a car door in Switzerland.
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
It is better to have loved 
 and lost than just to have lost.
It is easier to change the specification 
 to fit the program than vice versa.
It is easier to fight for one's 
 principles than to live up to them.
It is easier to write an incorrect 
 program than to understand a correct one.
It is easy to get lost on a twisting path.
It is my firm belief that it 
 is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
It's all in the mind, ya know.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
It's gotta be rock roll music, 
 If you wanna dance with me...
It's late, you should go home.
It's later than you think.
Its not the men in your life 
 that count, its the life in your men.
Jog - and die healthy.
Kilroy is dead.
King Kong died for your sins.
Kings rule men, wise men rule kings.
Kiwis are the only bird to hunt by smell.
Large cats can be dangerous, 
 a little pussy never hurt anyone.
Lassie kills chickens.
Last guys don't finish nice.
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  
 Crying doesn't help either.
Leda loves swans.
Lesbians - when only the brest will do.
Less is more.
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Let the machine do the dirty work.
Let your conscience be your guide.
Let's face it: this time you're not going to win.
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Life as we know it doesn't exist.
Life is a hereditary disease.
Life is full of little 
 surprises, and you are one of them.
Life is like a sewer, what you get out of 
 it depends on what you put into it.
Life is like an analogy.
Like winter snow on summer 
 lawn, time past is time gone.
Linda Lovelace's mother went down on the Titanic.
Lisp programmers know the value 
 of everything and the cost of nothing.
Live a clean, healthy life 
 and you will soon die of boredom.
Live within your income, 
 even if you have to borrow to do so.
Loatians measure distance in terms 
 of the time it takes to cook rice.
Long computations that yield 
 zero are probably all for naught.
Long life is in store for you.
Look before you leap.
Look both ways before crossing the steet.
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love conquers all things.
Love is a many-gendered thing.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Love thy neighbour - but don't get caught.
Make it right before you make it faster.
Man who falls in blast furnace 
 is certain to feel overwrought.
Man who falls in vat of molten 
 optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many are called, few volunteer.
Many pages make a thick book.
Many pages make a tree.
Many receive advice, few profit from it.
Marriage is like a dull meal, 
 with the dessert at the beginning.
Mary Popins shouldn't fly without underware.
Masturbation is sex with someone you love.
Masturbation is the art of coming unscrewed.
Might as well be frank, Monsieur.  It 
 would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
Mind your own business, Spock.  
 I'm sick of your half-breed interference.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Moderation is a fatal thing.  
 Nothing succeeds like excess.
Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
Money can`t buy me love.
Money is the root of all evil.
More than half the men on Corfu are called Spiro.
Morse code rules ... ---
Most fortunes are just as misleading as this one.
Murder is an excellent way of 
 dealing with a hostility problem.
My karma has just run over my dogma.
Never believe what a computer tells you.
Never eat anything larger than your head.
Never insult an alligator 
 until you have crossed the river.
Never kick a sleeping dog.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Never meddle in the affairs of Wizards: 
 it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Never settle with words what you 
 can accomplish with a flame thrower.
Never take advice from a computer.
Never take other peoples advice.
Never try to teach a pig to sing: 
 it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
Never vomit on a door mat.
No amount of genius can 
 overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No arms for the Venus de Milo.
No civilized person ever goes 
 to bed the same day he gets up.
No girdle ever cured a pregnancy.
No one can feel as helpless 
 as the owner of a sick goldfish.
No one ever became a big success 
 through listening to his mother.
No one throws a stone at a barren tree.
No part of this fortune may be 
 reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, ...
No problem is insoluble 
 in all conceivable circumstances.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nostalgien er ikke som den en gang var.
Nothing astonishes men so 
 much as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing endures like change.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Nothing will dispel 
 enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
Odipus - ring mor.
Of all forms of caution, 
 caution in love is the most fatal.
Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave 
 when first we practice to conceive.
Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
On a hot summer night would you offer your 
 throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Once you understand how to write a program, 
 get someone else to write it.
One in every 2000 babies is born with teeth.
One legged girls are a pushover.
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One man's constant is another man's variable.
Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.
Opportunity knocks but once.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Pay attention or you will miss all the best jokes.
People oppose things because they are ignorant of them.
People who hate the light usually hate the truth.
People who take cat naps don't 
 usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
Perry mason bribes judges.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
Phone your mother, maybe she 
 hasn't had any problems lately.
PLEASE ignore previous fortune.
Posh glue sniffers are stuck up.
Power is poison.
Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
Promptness is its own reward, if one 
 lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Punishment is a blessing in disguise.
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
Pythagoras can't do the cube.
Quantity is no substitute for 
 quality, but it's the only one we've got.
Que sera sera.
Quentin Crisp is strait.
Question 23: Have you now stopped molesting children?
                 Yes [ ]   No [ ]
Quit work and play for once!
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts frequently make 
 a delightful meal for visiting Tourists.
Read the fine print.
Reading is thinking with someone 
 else's head instead of one's own.
Reading this fortune confuses you.
Reading Tolkien might help you.
Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.
Recursion is the root of computation 
 since it trades description for time.
Repent today...you might be too busy tomorrow.
Return to sender, address unknown 
 No such number, no such zone...
Rotten wood can not be carved.
Satisfy your cravings.  Contact the nearest drug ring.
Scissors cut paper...
Screw up your courage!  
 You've screwed up everything else.
Sibling rivalry is for children.
Silence those that oppose free speech.
Sin against God is one thing; 
 sinning against man is worse.
Sleep with the rememberance of death, 
 rise with the thought that you will not live long.
Smile!  someone may have a hidden camera.
Smile, it makes the world wonder what you are up to.
Snails can sleep for four years at a time.
Snoopy has fleas.
Snow Day -- stay home.
Some days the bear will eat you, 
 Some days you eat the bear.
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Someone is enthusiastic about your work.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Something tells me it's all happening at the zoo...
Sooner will men hold fire in 
 their mouths than keep a secret.
Sorry, no fortune this time. Better luck next time!
Spar energi.  Bli kremert med en venn.
Speed Kills (The Doors)
St Peter's Rome would fit inside the 
 Grotto dei Giganti a cave near Trieste.
St Vincent, patron saint of wine, was a teetotaller.
Stability itself is nothing 
 else than a more sluggish motion.
Standing on head makes smile of frown, 
 but rest of face also upside down.
Start the day with a smile - get it over with.
Stop searching forever: happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever: happiness is unattainable.
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
Success is a journey, not a destination.
Sudden prayers make God jump.
Sweet voiced birds are imprisoned, 
 Owls are not kept in cages.
Sydney Opera House is off-Quay.
Tact is the art of making a 
 point without making an enemy.
Take care of the luxuries and the 
 necessities will take care of themselves.
Tarantulas can live for two and a half years without food.
Taste is the feminine of genius.
That which is not good for the swarm, 
 neither is it good for the bee.
The alchemist dies in pain and frustration -
 while the fool finds treasure in a ruin.
The attacker must vanquish; 
 the defender need only survive.
The Berlin-Bagdad railway was started 
 in 1888 and finished in 1940.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The cow may be black, but the milk comes out white.
The days of good English has went.
The degree of civilization in a society 
 can be judged by entering its prisons.
The door is the key.
The early worm gets the bird.
The earth shall inherit the meek.
The electric blanket was invented in 1949.
The end justifies the jeans.
The ends justify the means.
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
The Fonz is cool - but Elvis is cold.
The future is his who knows how to wait.
The future isn't what it used to be.  It never was.
The gate is gateless.
The Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
The law of the excluded middle 
 either rules or does not rule OK.
The life that is unexamined is not worth living.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together, 
 but the calf won't get much sleep.
The man who can smile when things go 
 wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
The man who makes no mistakes 
 does not usually make anything.
The Marquis de Sade sure knew how to hurt a guy.
The Mona Lisa was framed.
The more things change, the more they remain the same.
The octopus has three hearts.
The only difference between 
 a rut and a grave is their size.
The only way to amuse some people 
 is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The postman always rings twice.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
The shortage will be divided among the poor.
The slower you drive, the farther you get.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
The sun never set on the British Empire 
 because the British were scared of the dark.
The time is right to make new friends.
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest 
 fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
There are better information sources than fortune cookies.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are no gains without pains, 
 but often there are pains without gains.
There are seven million lamp posts in Britain.
There is no proverb that is not true.
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
There is no sin but ignorance.
There never was a good war or a bad peace.
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold.
There's a place for us, you know the movie song.
There's more to life than meets the mind.
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
This fortune intentionally left blank.
This fortune is inoperative.  
 Please try another.
This fortune is intended for 
 the private use of our audience.
This is a good time to punt work.
This is a paid political announcement!
This is not a fortune.
Those of you who think you know 
 everything are annoying to us who do.
Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.
Thunder bolts and lightning very very frightning, Galelio.
Time and tide wait for no man.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a bannana.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time is nature's way of making sure 
 that everything doesn't happen at once.
Timothy Leary is an alcoholic.
To be great is to be misunderstood.
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To know thyself is the ultimate form of aggression.
To teach is to learn.
Today is a good day to 
 bribe a high-ranking public official.
Tolkein is Hobbit forming.
Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more!
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel anyway.
Try not to think of Maud -- 
 it will only make you maudlin.
Try to divide your time 
 evenly to keep others happy.
Try to get paid in advance.
Steady is all right, slow is useless.
Turn the other cheek.
Two men look out through the same bars; 
 one sees mud, and one the stars.
Uneasy lies the head, but only at 
 first.  The lying gets easier.
Unicorns do it for the money.
Variables don't, constants aren't.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
Vote Anarchrist.
Voyeurs Drool, OK.
Walk softly and carry a big stick.
We all know that no one 
 understands anything that isn't funny.
We are all related: the same sun dries our rags.
We are always the same age inside.
We give advice, 
 but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.
Whales cannot swim backwards.
What can the tiger catch in the 
 dark recesses of his own lair?
What did morons do before CB was invented?
What do you mean Flash Gordon approaching?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
When a monkey examines a mirror no wise man looks out.
When choosing between two evils, 
 always try the one you have never tried before.
When in charge, ponder; 
 when in doubt, mumble; 
 when in trouble, delegate.
When in doubt, lead trump.
When in doubt, worry.
When it gomes to dying for your country,
 its better not to die at all.
When the sheath is broken, you can't hide the sword.
When we write programs that "learn," 
 it turns out that we do and they don't.
When you're in it up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.
When your opponent is down - kick him.
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Who was that masked man?
Why does free love cost so much?
With clothes the new are best, 
 with friends the old are best.
With friends like yours who needs enemas?
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
You are in a maze of twisty 
 little passages, all alike.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun 
 than you can with only a kind word.
You can never do merely one thing.
You can observe a lot by watching.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cannot trust fortunes.
You don't have to rehearse to be yourself.
You don't know what you've got till its gone.
You feel like someone is pulling your leg.
You fill a much-needed gap.
You have a deep interest in all that is artistic.
You have a tendency to feel 
 you are superior to most computers.
You have an ambitious nature 
 and may make a name for yourself.
You have the right to remain silent.
You never get a hangover from other people's vodka.
You should suffer for your wickedness!
You shoulda toined left at Albequoique!
You will attract cultured  and artistic people to your home.
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
You won't get away this time, Baggins!
You'll never be the man your mother was.
You're never alone with schizophrenia.
This last line will never get used and must start against the left edge
